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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
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INTRODUCTION:
OK, so I'm so dumb I didn't do the toons properly
last time.
Don't forget you can still see the archives and
everything
else on the website at http://www.ezines4all.com
I'll tell you about my Easter in the next issue.
Phil (mailto:mrx@ezines4all.com)
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QUICK JOKE
Michael Jackson was on a ship with 100 boy scouts
and 100
girl guideswhen it hit an iceberg and started to
sink. The
captain announced "We're sinking! Everyone abandon
ship!"
Michael Jackson asked, "What about the children?"
The captain replied, "f**k the children!"
Jacko looked around eagerly and said "Do we have
time?"
lol
Apparently Jacko thought Boyz II Men was a
delivery service.
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CARTOON TIME:
The Urinal Not To Miss!
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200310/008.htm
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FUN PAGE
The Densa Test...
http://www.ezines4all.com/fun/densa.htm
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KICKING
A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they
live
on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his
chores.
"Not yet." said the little boy.
His mother tells him he can't have any breakfast
until he does his chores.
Well, he's a little pissed, so he goes to feed the
chickens and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed
the
cows and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs
and
he kicks a pig.
He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives
him a bowl of dry cereal. No milk or nothing!
"How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why
don't I
have any milk in my cereal?" he asks.
"Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a
chicken,
so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you
kick
the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week
either. I also saw you kick the cow, so for a week
you aren't getting any milk."
Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and
kicks the cat as he's walking into the kitchen.
The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile
and says, "Are you going to tell him or should I?"
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CONFESSION
Melvin comes to confession. "Father," he said,
forgive me
for I have sinned."
The priest asked, "What did you do, my son?"
"I lusted," Melvin replied.
"Tell me about it," the priest said.
Melvin then related his story. "Father, I'm a
deliveryman
for UPS. Yesterday I was making a delivery in the
affluent
section of the city. When I rang the bell, the
door opened
and there stood the most beautiful woman I have
ever seen.
She had long blonde hair and eyes like emeralds.
She was
dressed in a sheer dressing gown that showed her
perfect
figure. And, she asked seductively if I would like
to come
in."
"And, what did you do, my son?" asked the priest.
"Father, I did not go in the house but I lusted.
Oh, how I
lusted," replied the man.
"Your sin has been forgiven," replied the priest.
"You
will get your reward in heaven, my son."
"A reward, father? What do you think my reward
might be?"
Melvin asked.
The priest replied, "I think a bale of hay would
be
appropriate,... you dumb ass."
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