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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
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INTRODUCTION:
OK, so it seems I'm not quite as blind as I
thought... the
optician who made my last glasses basically got
part of my
prescription round the wrong way... so that the
axis was
wrong. Basically it wasn't to do with the
strength... but
the internal curves that helps with focus. I ended
up with
a +2.25 when I needed a -2.25, I remember feeling
pretty
blind leaving the opticians with my new glasses...
I just
thought that I had to get used to the new
prescription.
Does anyone else where glasses? I don't see
anything out
my left eye... so the lens is their for 'cosmetic'
reasons
and is balanced with the right... I didn't fancy a
pirates
patch or a monacle.
As for my prescription it is: Sphere -15.00,
Cylinder -2.25
Axis 25... and I still try to have conversations
with
pillar boxes, which I'm told means I'm quite short
sighted.
Enjoy your jokes... from the man with his nose 1"
from the
monitor...
Have a great Easter!!!
Phil (mailto:mrx@ezines4all.com)
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QUICK JOKE
An infamous stud with a long list of conquests
walked into his
neighborhood bar and ordered a drink. The
bartender thought he looked
worried and asked him if anything was wrong.
"I'm scared out of my mind," the stud replied.
"Some pissed-off husband
wrote to me and said he'd kill me if I didn't stop
fucking his wife."
"So stop," the barkeep said.
"I can't," the womanizer replied, taking a long
swill. "The prick didn't
sign his name!"
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CARTOON TIME:
Thirst Quencher...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200310/009.htm
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FUN PAGE
The Most Annoying Page On The Internet (Be
Warned)...
http://www.ezines4all.com/fun/annoying.htm
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Get FREE Easter Smileys!
Get them all, by clicking here - download now!
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BREEDING TRICK
A farmer was having trouble getting his
horses to breed. He had tried everything
and was at his wits end. Finally one day
he called the local Vet. The Vet told him
to rub the male nose into the female
horse...He would get the scent of her and
breed.
Sure enough the farmer rubbed the
male horses nose into the female and he
hopped right on.
That evening the farmer was thinking about his own
trouble in the sex department. So that night after
him and his wife were laying in bed, he reached
down
underneath the covers and rubbed on his wife and
then
rubbed his nose. To his amazement he got his first
hard-on in years. He yelled out to his wife...
"honey look!!! look!!!"
His wife turned on the light disgusted and said
"You woke me up to tell me you had a bloody nose?"
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GETTING OLDER
I phoned up a really gorgeous ex-girlfriend of
mine the
other day. We lost track of time, chatting about
the wild
nights we used to enjoy together.
I couldn't BELIEVE it when she asked if I'd like
to meet up
and maybe rekindle a little of that magic.
"Wow!" I said "I don't know if I could keep pace
with you
now! I'm a bit older and a bit balder than when
you last saw
me!"
She giggled and said she was sure I'd meet the
challenge!
"Yeah," I said, Just so long as you don't mind a
man with
a waistband that's a few inches wider these days!"
She laughed and told me to stop being so silly!
She teased
me, saying she thought tubby bald men were cute!
"Anyway", she said, "I've put on a couple of
pounds myself!"
So I hung up.
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