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====> Welcome to JokesUncut
=====> Seriously Scottish Adult Jokes For The
Whole Clan
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========> Useful Links also at the bottom
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INTRODUCTION:
Many of you didn't receive Mondays 'comeback'
issue where I
wrote my reasons for such a long absense... and it
was a
'not to be missed' intro because it filled those
that read
it in on a lot.
I also noticeed that I got some of the toons links
wrong
(Hey... I'm out of practise). So I got to thinking
the best
way to sort the problem and let everyone see it
was post it
on the website rather than writing the intro again
and
posting the toons again.
Mondays issue can be found online at:
http://www.ezines4all.com/dl200404/05.htm
That got me to thinking maybe I should post them
everyday
incase someone misses an issue or for some reason
the isps
decide not to deliver them, or to convert non
subscribers...
or just because people enjoy them so much they
might want to
go back and read them again and again.
I'd appreciate any feedback on the subject because
what you,
my friends, thinks matters to me.
Phil (mailto:mrx@ezines4all.com)
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QUICK JOKE
A recent study found that 35% of men have been
injured while
undoing a woman's bra. That's correct. While
unfastening a
woman's stabilizing devise, men have received
strained tendons,
scratches, and other similar injuries. Actually, I
can vouch
for that. I got injured today while trying to undo
a woman's
bra. When I undid the woman in front of me in the
checkout line,
she turned and hit me with a can of peas.
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CARTOON TIME:
Sperm Bank Advert...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200310/004.htm
His And Hers 'Comfort' Chairs...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200310/005.htm
New Table Settings From IKEA...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200310/006.htm
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FUN PAGE
Errr, hit a guy as far as you can with a Baseball
Bat?...
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/military/snow.htm
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SOCIAL SECURITY
A retired gentleman went into the social security
office to apply for Social Security. After waiting
in line for a long time he got to the counter.
The woman behind the counter asked him for his
driver`s license to verify his age. He looked in
his pockets and realized he had left his wallet
at home.
He told the woman that he was very sorry but he
seemed to have left his wallet at home.
"Will I have to go home and come back now?"
he asked. The woman said, "Unbutton your shirt."
So he opened his shirt, revealing lots of curly,
silver hair. She said, "That silver hair is proof
enough for me," and processed his Social Security
application. When he got home, the man excitedly
told his wife about his experience at the Social
Security office. She said, "You should have
dropped
your pants, you might have qualified for
disability,
too."
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GRAVY LADLE
A young man called Colin invited his mother over
for dinner.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't
help but
notice how handsome Colin's flatmate was. She had
long been
suspicious of a relationship between the two, and
this only
made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the
two
interact, she started to wonder if there was more
between
Colin and his flatmate than met the eye.
Reading his Mum's thoughts, Colin volunteered, "I
know what
you must be thinking, but I assure you, Gary and I
are just
flatmates." About a week later, Gary came to Colin
saying,
"Ever since your mother came to dinner I've been
unable to
find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't
suppose
she took it, do you?" "Well, I doubt it, but I'll
email her
just to be sure." said Colin.
So he sat down and wrote: Dear Mother, I'm not
saying that
you 'did' take the gravy ladle from my house, I'm
not saying
that you 'did not' take the gravy ladle, but the
fact
remains that it has been missing ever since you
were here
for dinner. Love, Colin
Several days later Colin received an email from
his Mother
which read:
Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with
Gary, and
I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Gary,
but the
fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own
bed he would
have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mum
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