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====> Welcome to DafterLafter
=====> Seriously Scottish Clean Jokes For The
Whole Clan
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INTRODUCTION:
Welcome to another issue of jokes and fun.
Enjoy!
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
A guy about 35 years old was getting married for
the third
time.
His prospective bride learned that it was to be
his third
such trip, and naturally asked him what happened
to his
first two wives.
He told her that his first wife died of mushroom
poisoning.
She agreed that was rather tragic, but what did
his second
wife die of?
"Well, she died of a fractured skull."
"Oh, how terrible," says she, "how come she died
of a
fractured skull?"
"Because she wouldnt eat the mushrooms," he
answered.
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CARTOON TIME:
Hold Up
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200411/001.htm
No Win After All
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200411/002.htm
Survivor
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200411/003.htm
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FUN PAGE
A Bit Of A Splash!
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/splash.htm
Refreshing Honesty
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/honesty/index.htm
DSW Day
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/dsw.htm
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WALKING ON WATER
Turning 21--- A boy from Duluth, Minnesota named
Lars had
heard stories of an amazing family tradition. It
seem that
his father, grandfather and great grandfather had
all been
able to walk on water on their 21st birthdays, to
the boat
club across the lake for their first legal drink.
So when Lars' 21st came around, he and his pal
Sven took a
boat out to the middle of the lake. Lars stepped
out of
the boat and nearly drowned. Sven managed to pull
him to
safety.
Furious and confused, Lars went to see his
grandmother.
"Grandma," he asked, "it's my 21st birthday, so
why can't I
walk across the lake like my father, his father,
and his
father before him?"
Granny looked into Lars' eyes and said, "Because
your father,
grandfather and great-grandfather were born in
January. You
were born in July.
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CALL CENTRE ENQUIRIES
Samsung Electronics
Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for
Jack?".
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who
you are
talking about".
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide
it clearly
states that I need to unplug the fax machine from
the AC
wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning.
Now, can you
give me the number for Jack?".
RAC Motoring Services
Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover
me when
I am travelling in Australia?.
Operator: Doesn't the product give you a clue?
Directory Enquiries
Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish
Bar in
Cardiff, please".
Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the
spelling
orrect?".
Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed
Fish Bar
but the 'B' fell off".
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear
company
in Woven.
Operator: Woven?. Are you sure?.
Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label -
Woven in
Scotland".
Caller: "I'd like the RSPCA please".
Operator: "Where are you calling from?".
Caller: "The living room".
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing
sounds from
a phone box told a worried operator: "I haven't
got a pen, so
I'm steaming up the window to write the number
on".
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the
Open Desktop".
Customer: "OK".
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a
pop-up
menu?".
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you
have done
up until this point?".
Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and
I wrote
'click'".
Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of
the
screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?".
Customer: "Wow! How can you see my screen from
there?".
Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and
I have
just realised that I need it. If I turn my system
clock
back two weeks will I have my file back again?".
British Rail
Customer: "How much does it cost to Bath on the
train?".
Operator: "If you can get your feet in the sink,
then it's
free".
Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two
days and
can't get through to enquiries, can you help?".
Operator: "Where did you get that number from,
sir?".
Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel
Centre".
Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".
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