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====> Welcome to DafterLafter
=====> Seriously Scottish Clean Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
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Mole, Wart & Skin Tag Free In 3 Days
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unsightly moles,
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INTRODUCTION:
Welcome to another working week with lots of
laughs. I'm
waiting to hear from the dentist as to when I go
in to get
this painful tooth removed. It's amazing how
something so
small can cause such discomfort. I'm just glad I'm
on the
medication that I'm on which makes it manageable.
I pity
those who don't have access to the kind of stuff I
do.
I love crisps (which you call chips), I like them
all...
the potato ones and maize/corn ones but I'm
uninspired by
the selection at present. Don't get me wrong... we
have
hundreds of varieties over here... I'm just pretty
bored.
I recently managed to buy some South African chips
on eBay,
it was interesting to try something new. I also
managed
to get some kettle chips sent from America once
and they
were nice.
Have a great day!
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
While I was visiting my sister one evening, I took
out
a candy dispenser that was shaped like a miniature
person.
"How does that thing work?" she asked.
As I turned the figurine's arm to pop candy out,
my
sister laughed. "I see..it's a lot like my
husband,"
she said. "You have to twist his arm to get
anything
out of him."
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CARTOON TIME:
What Really Happened To Dorothy
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200412/013.htm
Wrinkle Machine
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200412/014.htm
Priorities
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200412/015.htm
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FUN PAGE
Lego Church (Great!)
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/legochurch.htm
Fire Relax
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=210&pid=6164&s=n
Mini Putt 3
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=210&pid=5744&s=n
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How To Burn Any Dvd Movie
If you have a CD Burner and a DVD player in your
computer
you can transfer any full-length DVD movie to a
single CD
with high quality results that will play on anyone
of your
computers. This program is not intended to be used
to copy
films in violation of the Millenium Copyright Act
and we
advise not using it for that purpose.
Burn any full length Dvd movie onto a blank CD
using any CD
burner!
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QUIZ CONTESTANTS
The Weakest Link
Anne Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two
roads meet?
Contestant: Jool carriageway.
Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by
Vesuvius?
Contestant: Bombay.
Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering
above lakes?
Contestant: Crocodiles.
Robinson: Wh...?
Contestant (interrupting): Pass!
Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were
minstrels, travelling
entertainers or chocolate salesmen?
Contestant: Chocolate salesmen.
Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament. The Four
Gospels were written
by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...?
Contestant: (long pause) Joe?
The Afternoon Programme Quiz
Presenter: Who killed Cock Robin?
Contestant: Oh God, I didn't even know he was
dead.
Lincs FM phone-in
Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking
country in the world?
Contestant: Barcelona.
Presenter: I was really after the name of a
country.
Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of
any countries in
Spain.
Steve Wright Show, Radio 2
Wright: On which continent would you find the
River Danube?
Contestant: India.
Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway?
Contestant: Espresso.
Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it's
not Sydney.
Contestant: Sydney.
This Morning
Judy Finnegan: The American TV show 'The Sopranos'
is about opera. True
or false?
Contestant: True?
Finnegan: No, actually, it's about the Mafia. But
it is an American TV
show, so I'll give you that.
BBC Radio Newcastle
Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between
Egypt and Israel
last?
Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.
Bob Hope Birthday Quiz, LBC
Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many
sons?
Contestant: Four.
BBC GMR, Phil Wood Show
Wood: What "K" could be described as the Islamic
Bible?
Contestant: Er...
Wood: It's got two syllables... Kor...
Contestant: Blimey?
Wood: Ha ha ha ha no. The past participle of
run...
Contestant: (Silence)
Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run,
yesterday I...
Contestant: Walked?
Daryl's Drivetime, Virgin Radio
Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend
shekels?
Contestant: Holland?
Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say
Israel?
Contestant: No.
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The Nerve Center Of Your PC - Windows Registry -
Needs
Repairing!
Let Error Nuker, your amazing FREE PC Diagnostics
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Even if your PC is perfectly fine, you should try
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QUIZ CONTESTANTS CONTINUED
National Lottery Jet Set
Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright
commonly known by the
initials G.B.S.?
Contestant: William Shakespeare.
Chris Searle Show, BBC Radio Bristol
Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
Caller: Japan.
Searle: I did say which European country, so in
case you didn't hear
that, I can let you try again.
Caller: Er... Mexico?
Family Fortunes
1) Something a blind man might use? A Sword
2) A Song with the word Moon in the title? Blue
Suede Moon
3) Name the Capital of France? F
4) Name a bird with a long Neck? Naomi Campbell
5) Name an occupation where you might need a
torch? A burglar
6) Where is the Taj Mahal? Opposite the Dental
Hospital
7) What is Hitlers first name? Heil
8) A famous Scotsman? Jock
9) Some famous brothers? Bonnie and Clyde.
10) A dangerous race? The Arabs
11) Something that floats in a bath? Water
12) An item of clothing worn by the Three
Musketeers? A horse
13) Something you wear on a beach? A deckchair
14) A famous Royal? Mail
15) Something that flies that doesn't have an
engine? A bicycle with
wings
16) A famous bridge? The Bridge Over Troubled
Waters
17) Something a cat does ? Goes to the Toilet
18) Something you do in the bathroom? Decorate
19) A method of securing your home? Put the kettle
on
20) Something associated with pigs? The Police
21) A sign of the Zodiac? April
22) Something people might be allergic to? Skiing
23) Something you do before you go to bed? Sleep
24) Something you put on walls? A roof
25) Something Slippery? A conman
26) A kind of ache? A fillet of fish
27) A Jacket Potato topping? Jam
28) A food that can be brown or white? A potato
29) Something sold by gypsies? Bananas
30) Something Red? My sweater
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Home Inventory
This is the perfect computer program for Home
Owners and
Apartment Dwellers to keep your property organized
and much
more. Help safeguard your valuables from theft,
fire, flood
and more....
This program lets you record detailed information
about each
of your items, such as: ITEM NAME, DESCRIPTION,
SERIAL
NUMBER, MAKE, MODEL, STYLE, ENGRAVED OR ID INFO,
INSURANCE
INFO, CONDITION, DATE AQUIRED, COST, VALUE, and
much more.
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