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====> Welcome to DafterLafter
=====> Seriously Scottish Clean Jokes For The
Whole Clan
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INTRODUCTION:
Lizzie and I have now set in stone the date when
we're going
to get married and it's officially going to be the
14th of
May. At church yesterday all the women were
clucking around
asking lots of questions about flowers and favours
and
dresses and cakes and all sorts of things that I
just
couldn't answer. In terms of numbers we were
drawing up a
guest list last night.
I came accross something on eBay which I found
really funny
so thought I'd share it with you. It started off
as someone
just trying to sell a wedding invite they didn't
want...
but then it grew into something a lot bigger. Have
a look at
it before eBay take it down!
http://www.ezines4all.com/links/ebayinvite.htm
Have a great day!
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
A fellow evidently under the influence was trying
desperately to catch a train back to his suburban
home.
Three times he got on the wrong train. Each time
he was told
that he would have to take another train. When he
boarded a
fourth train he slumped down in a seat beside a
clergyman,
whose eyes, ears and nose told him that this new
passenger
had been drinking too much. He told our besotted
friend:
"Brother, may I tell you that you are traveling
the rough
and rocky road to damnation."
To which the drunk replied: "Don't tell me I'm on
the wrong
train again!"
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CARTOON TIME:
Where Do Babies Come From?
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200412/016.htm
Burglars Beware
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200412/017.htm
Backyard Ice Rink
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200412/018.htm
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FUN PAGE
Hanging Monkeys...
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=210&pid=5492&s=n
Kiss Me My Valentine...
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=210&pid=5475&s=n
Drive Carefully...
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=210&pid=3334&s=n
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THOUGHTFUL
Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was
finally able to speak
about what a thoughtful and wonderful man her late
husband had been.
"Sidney thought of everything," she told them.
"Just before he died,
Sidney called me to his bedside. He handed me
three envelopes. 'Tillie,'
he told me, 'I have put all my last wishes in
these three envelopes.
After I am dead, please open them and do exactly
as I have instructed.
Then, I can rest in peace'."
"What was in the envelopes?" her friends asked.
"The first envelope contained $5,000 with a note,
'Please use this money
to buy a nice casket.' So I bought a beautiful
mahogany casket with such
a comfortable lining that I know Sidney is resting
very comfortably."
"The second envelope contained $10,000 with a
note, 'Please use this for
a nice funeral.' I arranged Sidney a very
dignified funeral and bought
all his favorite foods for everyone attending."
"And the third envelope?" asked her friends.
"The third envelope contained $25,000 with a note,
'Please use this to
buy a nice stone'."
Holding her hand in the air, Tillie said, "So, how
do you like my
stone?" showing off her ten carat diamond ring.
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HILLARY
A stock broker, on his way home from work in New
York City, came to a
dead halt in traffic and thought to himself, "Wow,
this traffic seems
worse than usual. Nothing's even moving."
He notices a police officer walking back and forth
between the lines of
cars, so he rolls down his window and asks,
"Officer what's the hold
up?"
The officer replies, "Hillary Clinton is just so
depressed about all the
New Yorkers making her the butt of so many jokes
she stopped her
motorcade in the middle of the freeway and she's
threatening to
douse herself in gasoline and set herself on fire.
She says her husband
is running around on her more than ever and the
Democrats told her to
forget about the presidency in 2004. So we're all
out here taking up a
collection for her."
The broker asks, "Oh really? How much have you got
so far?"
The officer replies, "About 4 1/2 gallons, but a
lot of folks are still
siphoning.
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