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====> Welcome to DafterLafter
=====> Seriously Scottish Clean Jokes For The
Whole Clan
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AdvancedPetProducts
The remote-contolled "Cat Attack"!
(Compare to the Sharper Image's "Feline Frolic")
Cats may seem to lie around all the time, but they
LOVE to
play! Using the remote control, send the cat
attack racing
around your cat swinging its soft "chaos wand" for
your cat
to chase and pounce on! Buy one today!
Get a Cat-Attack now for $5 off retail!
-Built in Chaos Technology!
-Keeps your cat in shape!
-You control the action!
-Free shipping available!
http://www.greatworldmedia.com/offers/lt339.htm
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INTRODUCTION:
Hello folks, planning a kitchen just isn't easy. I
wish the
companies involved would be more transparant with
their
pricing structures. Some charge lots for
appliances and not
much for cabinets and others do the reverse
however neither
will let you buy one without the other. Also, most
companies
don't quote you for installation which is a major
cost for
kitchens because sometimes the cabinets come flat
packed
and also plumbing, gas and electrics all need
moved. I wish
I could find a reliable tradesman who could get
the stuff
at trade price and then I could charge him for his
time to
install it... that'd save a whole heap of cash.
Have a great day!
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
When my grandmother was in her eighties, she
decided to move
to Israel. As part of the preparations, she went
to see her
doctor and get all of her medical charts. The
doctor asked
her how she was doing, and she gave him the normal
litany
of complaints: this hurts, that's stiff, I'm
tireder and
slower, etc., etc., etc.
He responded with, "Mrs. Weiss, you have to expect
things to
start deteriorating. After all, who wants to live
to 100?"
My grandmother looked him straight in the eye and
replied,
"Anyone who's 99."
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CARTOON TIME:
The Signs
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200410/016.htm
Cola Haulage
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200410/017.htm
New Golf Caddy
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200410/018.htm
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FUN PAGE
Todays game is a fun game of logic called 'Blox 2'
Blox 2...
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/blox2.htm
Spot The Differences
http://www.ezines4all.com/fun/differences.htm
Body Painting - What Strange Things People Do For
Kicks
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/bodypainting.htm
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Want to have fun and get a brand new,
state-of-the-art
hand-held game player for free*?
Just click on the link below or copy it into your
web
browser bar to find out how! We’re looking for a
few good
consumers to join our club.
Click on the link below or copy it into your web
browser bar
to see if we’re recruiting in your area!
http://www.greatworldmedia.com/offers/lt347.htm
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AUSTRALIA Q&A
Here are some of the classic questions that were
asked of
the Sydney Olympic Committee via their Web site,
and the
witty answers that go with them.
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have
never seen
it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: Upwards, out of the ground, like the person who
asked
this question, who themselves will need watering
if their
IQ drops any lower...
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street?
(USA)
A: Depends on how much beer you've consumed...
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I
follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, so you'll
need to
have started about a year ago to get there in time
for
this October...
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in
Australia? (Sweden)
A: And accomplish what?
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why bother? Use your fingers like the rest of
us...
Q: Do tents exist in Australia? (Germany)
A: Yes, but only in sporting supply stores,
peoples'
garages, and most national parks...
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia?
(France)
A: Yes. At Christmas.
Q: Can I drive to the Great Barrier Reef?
(Germany)
A: Sure, if your vehicle is amphibious.
Q: Are there killer bees in Australia? (Germany)
A: Not yet, but we'll see what we can do when you
get here.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk
available
all year round? (Germany)
A: Nope, only on Tuesdays LOL.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia
who can
dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: I love this one...there are no rattlesnakes in
Australia.
Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face North and you should be about right.
Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I
go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.
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Exclusive Special Offer From Thompson Cigar
It's the complete package for the cigar smoker for
only
$29.95 ($89 value)!
~ 12 Premium Handmade, Imported Cigars
~ Free Aluminum Travel Case
~ Free Thompson Hat
This premium offer is available for a limited time
so don't
delay...
To order visit:
http://www.greatworldmedia.com/offers/lt325.htm
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T Q M
God's Total Quality Management Questionnaire
God would like to thank you for your belief and
patronage.
In order to better serve your needs, He asks that
you take
a few moments to answer the following questions.
Please keep in mind that your responses will be
kept
completely confidential, and that you need not
disclose
your name or address unless you prefer a direct
response
to comments or suggestions.
How did you find out about God?
__ Newspaper
__ Television
__ Word of mouth
__ Torah
__ Bible
__ Koran
__ Other Book
__ Divine Inspiration
__ Near Death Experience
__ Friend or Relative
__ Other: ____________
Are you currently using any other source of
inspiration in
addition to God? Please check all that apply.
__ Tarot
__ Horoscope
__ Fortune cookies
__ Self-help books
__ Biorythms
__ Mantras
__ Insurance policies
__ Lottery
__ Television
__ Ann Landers
__ Sex
__ Alcohol or drugs
__ Other: ____________
__ None
God employs a limited degree of Divine
Intervention to
preserve the balanced level of felt presence and
blind
faith. Which would you prefer (circle one)?
a. More Divine Intervention
b. Less Divine Intervention
c. Current level of Divine Intervention is just
right
d. Don't know
God also attempts to maintain a balanced level of
disasters and miracles. Please rate on a scale of
1 - 5
his handling of the following (1=unsatisfactory,
5=excellent):
a. Disasters (flood, famine, earthquake, war)
1 2 3 4 5
b. Miracles (rescues, spontaneous remission of
disease,
sports upsets)
1 2 3 4 5
Do you have any additional comments or suggestions
for
improving the quality of God's services?
(Attach an additional sheet if necessary):
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<><><><><><><><>
Want to have fun and get a $300 gift card for
free*?
Just click on the link below or copy it into your
web
browser bar to find out how! We’re looking for a
few good
consumers to join our club.
Click on the link below or copy it into your web
browser bar
to see if we’re recruiting in your area!
http://www.greatworldmedia.com/offers/lt345.htm
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
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