DafterLafter - 16 December 2004

 

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=====> Seriously Scottish Clean Jokes For The Whole Clan
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INTRODUCTION:

Sorry I wasn't able to post yesterday as I was quite ill,
fortunately I managed to stay out of the hospital and
think I'm probably going to be ok.

On a much much brighter note, all the digging the heals in
and all the prayers about the new apartment have paid off.
We received a phone call today with an offer... not of an
apartment... but of a house. We went to see it and it was
even better than what I was looking for. It has a great
big garden in three sections. A good sized dining kitchen
with plenty of worktops and storage, two double bedrooms
both with plenty of storage... actually everywhere you
looked in the house there seemed to be lots of storage.
We even got to keep the previous tenants vertical blinds
and carpets for free... which saves quite a lot of money!
There's a nice big walk in shower as well.

So now I'm happy about the house and stressed about moving,
but the great thing is hopefully that'll be us nice and
settled.

Have a great day... I have had one!

Phil

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QUICK JOKE

I enjoy using the comedy technique of self-deprecation -
but I'm not very good at it.

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CARTOON TIME:

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FUN PAGE

Fishy
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Big Smile
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Random Fun Page...
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THE MILLIONAIRE WITH ALLIGATORS

Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators.
He kept them in the pool, back of his mansion. The
millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single.
One day he decides to throw a huge party, and during the
party he announces, "My dear guests...I have a proposition
to every man here. I will give one million dollars or my
daughter to the man who can swim across this pool full of
alligators and emerge unharmed!"

As soon as he finished his last word, there was the sound of
a large SPLASH!! There was a guy in the pool swimming with
all he could...the crowd cheered him on as he kept stroking.
Finally, he made it to the other side unharmed. The
millionaire was impressed.

He said, "My boy, that was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't
think it could be done! Well I must keep my end of the
bargain...do you want my daughter or the one million
dollars?"

The guy says, "Listen, I don't want your money! And I don't
want your daughter! I want the person who pushed me in that
WATER!!!"

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INTELLECT

A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a blonde gathering, and
his hostess naturally broached the subject in which the
doctor was most at ease. "Would you mind telling me,
Doctor," she asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in
somebody who appears completely normal?"

"Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask him a simple
question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he
hesitates, that puts you on the track."

"What sort of question?"

"Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips
around the world and died during one of them. Which one?'

The blonde thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh,
"You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I
must confess I don't know much about history."

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