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=====> Seriously Scottish Clean Jokes For The
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INTRODUCTION:
We got back from holiday yesteraday. I thought
holidays were
meant to be relaxing, but to be honest I always
come back
far more tired than I was before I went away. I
don't think
I'm a 'holiday' kind of person. I enjoy my daily
routine
and holidays really play havoc with my TV
schedule. If it
was up to me I probably wouldn't even leave the
house...
except for church and visiting friends... but they
could
all just visit me instead... then I suppose I'd
miss
eating out too... and funfairs... except for that
I don't
like leaving the house... and I certainly don't
like being
outdoors. I don't have agoraphobia or anyting like
that...
I'm not scared... I just don't especially like it.
The holiday was ok and we met some new friends...
but I'm
not into travelling for six hours... and I do like
to have
my own space... I miss my TV and my PC.
I better get on with this as I have a huge amount
of work
to catch up on!
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to
go
through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then
jump
through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that.
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CARTOON TIME:
Brothers And Sisters
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200412/001.htm
A Snowman's Diet
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200412/002.htm
In The Wrong Job
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200412/003.htm
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FUN PAGE
It's a little bit late but this game is fun
anyway... a
joust between George Bush and John Kerry... pick
your
player and burst the other ones head open!
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/whitehousejoust/index.htm
Half Price Car For Sale
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/carsale.htm
Fung Shui Horoscope
http://www.ezines4all.com/fun/fshoro.htm
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THE MILLIONAIRE WITH ALLIGATORS
Once there was a millionaire, who collected live
alligators.
He kept them in the pool, back of his mansion. The
millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was
single.
One day he decides to throw a huge party, and
during the
party he announces, "My dear guests...I have a
proposition
to every man here. I will give one million dollars
or my
daughter to the man who can swim across this pool
full of
alligators and emerge unharmed!"
As soon as he finished his last word, there was
the sound of
a large SPLASH!! There was a guy in the pool
swimming with
all he could...the crowd cheered him on as he kept
stroking.
Finally, he made it to the other side unharmed.
The
millionaire was impressed.
He said, "My boy, that was incredible! Fantastic!
I didn't
think it could be done! Well I must keep my end of
the
bargain...do you want my daughter or the one
million
dollars?"
The guy says, "Listen, I don't want your money!
And I don't
want your daughter! I want the person who pushed
me in that
WATER!!!"
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INTELLECT
A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a blonde
gathering, and
his hostess naturally broached the subject in
which the
doctor was most at ease. "Would you mind telling
me,
Doctor," she asked, "how you detect a mental
deficiency in
somebody who appears completely normal?"
"Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask him a
simple
question which everyone should answer with no
trouble. If he
hesitates, that puts you on the track."
"What sort of question?"
"Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three
trips
around the world and died during one of them.
Which one?'
The blonde thought a moment, then said with a
nervous laugh,
"You wouldn't happen to have another example would
you? I
must confess I don't know much about history."
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