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====> Welcome to DafterLafter
=====> Seriously Scottish Clean Jokes For The
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INTRODUCTION:
And so another week draws to a close.
Have a great weekend!
Hogs And Kisses
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Phil
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QUICK JOKE
"With high-definition TV, everything looks bigger
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wider.
Kind of like going to your twenty-fifth high
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CARTOON TIME:
House Bean-Plant
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OK, Who Broke The Lamp?
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Eating Red Hot Chillies
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FUN PAGE
Romeo Got You...
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Gopher Bash
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Random Fun Page...
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THE DISASTER
"Oh, No!" he gasped as he surveyed the disaster
before him.
Never in his 40 years of life had he seen anything
like it. How anyone could
have survived he did not know. He could only
hope that somewhere amid the overwhelming
destruction he would find his
16-year-old son. Only the slim hope of finding
Danny kept him from turning and fleeing the scene.
He took a deep breath
and proceeded. Walking was virtually impossible
with so many things strewn
across his path. He moved ahead slowly. "Danny!
Danny!" he whispered to
himself. He tripped
and almost fell several times. He heard someone,
or
something, move. At least he thought he did.
Perhaps, he
was just hoping he did. He shook his head and felt
his gut
tighten. He couldn't understand how this could
have happened. There was some
light but not enough to see very much. Something
cold and wet brushed
against his hand. He jerked
it away. In desperation, he took another step then
cried out, "Danny!" From
a nearby pile of unidentified material, he
heard his son. "Yes, Dad," he said, in a voice so
weak it
could hardly be heard. "It's time to get up and
get ready
for school," the man sighed, "and, for heaven's
sake,
clean up this room."
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HOW TO BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY BE ANNOYING OTHERS
1. Leave the copy machine set to 99 copies, reduce
200%, extra dark, 17-inch
paper.
2. Specify that your drive-through order is "to
go."
3. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally
with your pen while
talking to others.
4. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers
running in all
weather conditions,"to keep them tuned up."
6. Reply to everything someone says with "That's
what YOU think."
7. Practice making fax and modem noises.
8. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific
papers and copy
them to your boss.
9. Make beeping noises when you back up.
10. Finish all your sentences with the words "in
accordance with prophecy."
11. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping
your hands over your ears.
12. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip
the ink cartridge across the
room.
13. Holler random numbers while someone is
counting.
14. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the
people are green, and insist
to others you "like it that way."
15. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
16. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can
make a "croaking" noise.
17. Honk and wave to strangers.
18. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and
simply >>eat the complimentary
mints by the cash register.
19. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
20. type only in lowercase.
21. Don t use any punctuation either
22. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones
and reroute whole streets.
23. Repeat the following conversation a dozen
times:"Do you hear that?"...
"What?"... "Never mind, it's gone now."
24. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
25. Try playing the 'William Tell Overture' by
tapping on the bottom of your
chin. When nearly done,announce, "No, wait, I
messed it up," and repeat.
26. Ask people what gender they are.
27. While making presentations,occasionally bob
your head like a parakeet.
28. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer
at passing cars to see if
they slow down.
29. Sing along at the opera.
30. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem
doesn't rhyme.
31. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and
then scribble their answers
in a notebook and mutter something about
"psychological profiles."
32. Tell your friends 5 days prior, that you can't
attend their party because
you're not in the mood.
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