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====> Welcome to DafterLafter
=====> Seriously Scottish Clean Jokes For The
Whole Clan
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INTRODUCTION:
Well folks the election's over and George Bush has
managed
to stay in power like so many corrupt people have
done
before. All those people wanting 'four more
years'... we'll
be lucky if we're even going to have a planet
here.
I have had some very aggressive and abusive emails
from
Bush supporters which is just an indication of how
these
people think that acts of aggression and murdering
innocent
civilians whilst ignoring international laws, the
UN and
the Geneva Convention are perfectly acceptable
practices.
It just astonishes me why people would
purposefully choose
to follow evil over good. It shouldn't be about
sides,
everyone should be united for the good of the
world to
preserve life and promote happiness... I just
cannot
understand people who do not share these goals.
Being
selfish does not lead to happiness in the
long-run.
Making money from burning fossil fuels is no good
if the
planet dies before you have time to spend your
ill-gotten
money.
On to matters that are more fun now. Here's a
funny little
slip of someone being a little annoying at the
office.
http://www.ezines4all.com/fun/stfu.htm
I hope everyone has an absolutely fantastic day,
we don't
know how many days we have left... so you better
start
enjoying them.
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
"Dad," a teenaged girl says, running into her
father's
den, "I'd like to kiss you good-bye before I go to
school!"
"You're too late, honey. Your mother just did that
two
minutes ago, and I don't have any cash left on
me."
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CARTOON TIME:
A Face For Every Day Of The Week
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200409/031.htm
The Working Week
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200409/032.htm
Attitudes Of The Old And Young
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200409/033.htm
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FUN PAGE
Click My Butt...
http://www.jokes-cartoons.com/pic/184-click-on-my-butt-and-drag-all-over.html
Are You Over The Hill?
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/overthehill.htm
Random Fun Page...
http://www.ezines4all.com/fun/random.htm
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IN A PERFECT WORLD
A person should feel as good at 50 as he did at 17
and he would actually be as smart at 50 as he
thought he was at 17.
You could give away a baby bed without getting
pregnant.
Forget-me-nots would stimulate the memory.
Doing what was good for you would be what you
enjoyed doing the most.
Pro baseball players would complain about
teachers being paid contracts worth millions
of dollars.
People always have good reasons to be optimistic.
You would never fumble, but if you did, you
would recover the ball yourself.
The mail would always be early, the check would
always be in the mail, and it would be written for
more than you expected.
Potato chips might have calories, but if you ate
them with a dip, the calories would be
neutralized.
If the guy from the government said to you,
"I'm here to help," not only would he mean it,
but also he'd do it.
First impressions wouldn't count for nearly as
much as ultimate performance. Winning might
be a nice thing, but that would be about all.
All people could expect to be accepted.
Every once in a while at least, a kid who always
closed the door softly would be told, "Go back
and slam the door."
Highway patrolmen would never be around
when you're running late, but would always
be at your side when a BMW blows past or
a Mac truck won't get off your bumper.
The better food tasted, the less calories it
would have.
Warranties would be for 13 months and
products would fail at 12.
More would be accomplished by governments
when they spent more.
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ARMY RECRUITMENT
The chief of staff of the US Army decided that he
would personally intervene in the recruiting
crisis
affecting all of our armed services. He directed a
nearby base to be opened and that all eligible
young
men and women be invited. As he and his staff were
standing near a brand new M-1 Battle Tank, a pair
of
twin, well built, neatly kept brothers who looked
like
they had just stepped off an Army Corps recruiting
poster walked up to them.
The chief of staff walked up to them, stuck out
his
hand and introduced himself. He looked at the
first
young man and asked, "Son, what skills can you
bring
to the best Army in the world?"
The young man looks at him and says, "I'm a
pilot!"
The general gets all excited, turns to his aide
and says,
"Get him in today, all the paper work done,
everything,
do it!"
The aide hustles the young man off. The general
looks
at the second young man and asked, "What skills to
you bring to this man's Army?"
The young man says, "I chop wood!"
"Son," the general replies, "we don't need wood
choppers in the Army, what do you know how to do?"
"I chop wood!"
"Young man," huffs the general, "you are not
listening to
me, we don't need wood choppers, this is the 21st
century and our battles are fought with our minds
as
much as with our bodies!"
"Well," the young man says, "you hired my
brother!"
"Of course we did," says the general, "he's a
pilot!"
The young man rolls his eyes and says, "Well, I
have
to 'chop it' before he can 'pile it'!"
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