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====> Welcome to DafterLafter
=====> Seriously Scottish Clean Jokes For The
Whole Clan
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INTRODUCTION:
Welcome back after the weekend. I'm going to try
and start
to publish earlier in the day but no promises. I'm
running
late today so I'll keep this short. I have a
dental
appointment tomorrow which I'm sure will be
unpleasant.
I hate anything that involves poking and proding
sensitive
places with any kind of metal object. I hate
getting my
prostate examined, I hate getting an endoscopy and
I
refuse to get a colonoscopy... and I would hate
them to do
the 1st immediately after the 2nd using the same
equipment.
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
"You know your going bald when your conversations
with your
barber keep getting shorter and shorter. I sit
down. 'How about
those...' 'Next!' 'What?' 'We're done.' 'Well,
here's a tip.'
'I can't. That would be stealing."
- Dave Attell
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CARTOON TIME:
Picking Up
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200408/004.htm
Sharp Solution
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200408/005.htm
Dog Door
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200408/006.htm
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FUN PAGE
A 'Super Mario' type platform game. This sort of
game was
really popular 15 years ago... not sure about now
though.
Save The Sheriff...
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/savethesheriff/index.htm
Random Fun Page...
http://www.ezines4all.com/fun/random.htm
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Check out this awesome deal!
You can get a KitchenAid Stand Mixer for FREE!
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CHANGING CHARGES
A guy was on trial for murder and if convicted,
would get
the electric chair. His brother found out that a
redneck was
on the jury and figured he would be the one to
bribe. He
told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if
he could
convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge
to
manslaughter.
The jury was out an entire week and returned with
a verdict
of manslaughter.
After the trial, the brother went to the redneck's
home,
told him what a great job he had done and paid him
the
$10,000.
The redneck replied that it wasn't easy to
convince the rest
of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter.
They all
wanted to let him go.
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Sign up now at landroverusa.com/LR3 to receive
insider
status and exclusive updates, previews and
information as
the Land Rover LR3 story unfolds.
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PHILOSOPHY ON HOUSEKEEPING
I don't do windows because... I love birds and
don't want
one to run into a clean window and get hurt.
I don't wax floors because... I am terrified a
guest will
slip, hurt themselves, I'll feel terrible and they
may sue
me.
I don't mind the dust bunnies because... They are
very
good company, I have named most of them, and they
agree
with everything I say.
I don't disturb cobwebs because... I want every
creature
to have a home of their own.
I don't Spring Clean because... I love all the
seasons
and don't want the others to get jealous.
I don't pull weeds in the garden because... I
don't want
to get in God's way, he is an excellent designer.
I don't put things away because. My husband will
never be
able to find them again.
I don't do gourmet meals when I entertain
because... I don't
want my guests to stress out over what to make
when they
invite me over for dinner.
I don't iron because... I choose to believe them
when they
say "Permanent Press".
I don't stress much on anything because... "A
Type"
personalities die young and I want to stick around
and
become a wrinkled up crusty old woman!!!!
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