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====> Welcome to DafterLafter
=====> Seriously Scottish Clean Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom
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INTRODUCTION:
No intro today - I'm still on holiday!
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QUICK JOKE
The other day I was standing in the park wondering
why
Frisbees get bigger and bigger the closer they
get...
then it hit me.
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CARTOON TIME:
More Than Meets The Eye
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200407/043.htm
Nice Tidy Room
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200407/044.htm
Those Big Begging Eyes
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200407/045.htm
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FUN PAGE
This is a game where you have to park cars in a
mall car
park and then collect them for shoppers when they
leave.
Obviously, being a male, I found this game easy.
Females
will probably find it very tricky to master.
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/park2/index.htm
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GENEROUS
A man walks in the front door of a bar. He is
mildly impaired; he
staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool
and, tells th
bartender: "I'll have a scotch; and give everyone
a drink on the
house, and have one for yourself."
The bartender obliges, serves the house, has a
drink, too with his
customer, then suggests he might want to square up
the tab; closing
time is in 5 minutes.
The man, feels in his pickets, and says "Whoops, I
don't have any
money."
The bartender picks him up by his collar and pants
and heaves him out
the door onto the street.
In two minutes the man is back at the bar and he
says "Barkeep, I'll
have another scotch, and another round for the
bar, but nothing for
you: you get mean when you drink."
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YOU KNOW YOU'RE A MOTHER WHEN...
Your kids make jokes about farting, burping,
pooping,
etc. and you think it's funny.
"You're so desperate for adult conversation that
you
spill your guts to the telemarketer that calls and
HE
hangs up on YOU! "
Spit is your number one cleaning agent.
You're up each night until 10 PM vacuuming,
dusting,
wiping, washing, drying, loading, unloading,
shopping,
cooking, driving, flushing, ironing, sweeping,
picking
up, changing sheets, changing diapers, bathing,
helping with homework, paying bills, budgeting,
clipping coupons, folding clothes, putting to bed,
dragging out of bed, brushing, chasing, buckling,
feeding (them, not you), PLUS swinging, playing
baseball, bike riding, pushing trucks, cuddling
dolls, roller balding, basketball, football,
catch,
bubbles, sprinklers, slides, nature walks,
coloring,
crafts, jumping rope, PLUS raking, trimming,
planting,
edging, mowing, gardening, painting, and walking
the
dog. You get up at 5:30 AM and you have no time to
eat, sleep, drink or go to the bathroom, and
yet...you
still managed to gain 10 pounds.
In your bathroom there is toothpaste on the light
fixtures, water all over the floor, a dog drinking
out
of the toilet and body hair forming a union to
protest
unsafe working conditions.
You buy cereal with marshmallows in it.
The closest you get to gourmet cooking is making
rice
crispies bars.
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