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====> Welcome to DafterLafter
=====> Seriously Scottish Clean Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
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Raising Nemo
"Announcing a brand new guide that shows you
everything you
need to know about clownfish for less than you
would spend
on a pair of clownfish!"
Do you own a clownfish or are you thinking about
buying a
clownfish?
Have your kids watched a clownfish movie and now
they won't
sleep until you get them a clownfish?
Have you ever searched the Internet for clownfish
information and become discouraged at the poor
quality and
difficult to navigate information you've found?
If you answered "yes" to any of these questions
then you'll
love this new product:
http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/recipetips
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INTRODUCTION:
I had to spend five minutes last night shouting my
head off
trying to get my Mums attention after she
accidently dialled
my number on her movile/cell phone while it was in
her
handbag/purse. It didn't work so as she was having
a
conversation with my sister at the time which I
could hear I
had to phone my sister to tell her to tell my Mum
to hang
her phone up
Hasn't she ever heard of key lock? They are really
needed if
you aren't going to constantly dial people on your
speed
dials every time your phone presses against
something.
Speaking of phones, I got a new one a couple of
weeks ago
after my old one was stolen and I'm really chuffed
with it
as it has Java games and a video camera and an MP3
player
to keep me amused.
Looks like it's the end of another working week,
have a
great weekend.
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
As the coals from our barbecue burned down, our
hosts passed
out marshmallows and long roasting forks.
Just then, two fire trucks roared by, sirens
blaring, lights
flashing. They stopped at a house right down the
block.
All twelve of us raced out of the back yard, down
the street,
where we found the owners of the blazing house
standing by
helplessly.
They glared at us with looks of disgust.
Suddenly, we realized why.........
we were all still holding our roasting forks with
marshmallows
on them...
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CARTOON TIME:
Scouse Footballer
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200407/028.htm
See Your Photo
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200407/029.htm
Instructions On Doors
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200407/030.htm
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FUN PAGE
The Chinese obsession that is 'Mahjongg' was a
game that,
until today, I'd never played. It was quite fun
but I don't
see myself becoming in any way addicted to it. See
how you
feel... warning you MUST read the instructions
first
otherwise you'll be completely lost like I was.
Mahjongg...
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/mahjongg/index.htm
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The Single Mom's Survival Guide
Bethanny Davis draws on her own experience as a
single
mom to share helpful advice with readers.
Are you a single mom?
Me too. I've been raising two kids on my own for
about two
and a half years now. It hasn't always been easy,
but when
my daughter comes up behind me to hug me and tell
me I'm
the best mom in the world, it sure is worth it!
I've learned a lot since I've been on my own. I've
had to.
Now I'd like to share what I've learned with
others.
http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/writergirl
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A BLONDE MIRACLE
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific
accident.
Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the
wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh
lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
"My gosh" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like
an
accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are
you
OK ma'am?"
"Yes officer, I'm just fine!" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the
officer
asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde
began. "I was driving along this road when from
out of
nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I
swerved
to the right, and there was another tree! I
swerved to
the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to
the
right and there was another tree! I swerved to the
left
and there was ........."
"Uh, ma'am," the officer said, cutting her off.
"There
isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was
your
air freshener swinging back and forth!"
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50 years ago, John Perez poured on his garden by
mistake, a product that
we all have in our kitchens today. Days later, he
saw that it was
effective to kill insects...
Happy with his discovery, he tried over the years,
hundreds of product
combinations in order to evaluate their effects.
From these experiences, he created dozens of
recipes that enabled him to
eliminate insect infestation in indoor and outdoor
situations for
good... without using commercial products!
After years of new improvements, he reveals --FOR
YOUR OWN USE-- the
best recipes to get rid of harmful insects and to
transform your lawn
into the greenest grass of your dreams.
http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/shine1
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A WOMAN'S RANDOM THOUGHTS
1) Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day,
someone in
an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.
2) Women over 50 don't have babies because they
would put
them down and forget where they left them.
3) One of life's mysteries is how a 2 pound box of
candy can
make a woman gain 5 LBS.
4) My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves
completely.
5) The best way to forget all your troubles is to
wear
tight shoes.
6) The nice part about living in a small town is
that when
you don't know what you're doing, someone else
does.
7) The older you get, the tougher it is to lose
weight
because by then, your body and your fat are really
good
friends.
Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along
came today.
9) Sometimes I think I understand everything, then
I regain
consciousness.
10) I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs
kept
rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire.
11) Amazing! You hang something in your closet for
a while
and it shrinks two sizes!
12) Skinny people irritate me! Especially when
they say
things like, "You know sometimes I just forget to
eat," Now
I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden
name, and my
keys. But I've never forgotten to eat. You have to
be a
special kind of stupid to forget to eat.
13) A friend of mine confused her Valium with her
birth
control pills. She had 14 kids, but she doesn't
really care.
14) They keep telling us to get in touch with our
bodies.
Mine isn't all that communicative but I heard from
it the
other day after I said, "Body, how'd you like to
go to the
six o'clock class in vigorous toning?" Clear as a
bell my
body said, "Listen witch ... do it and die."
15) The trouble with some women is that they get
all
excited about nothing (and then they marry him.)
16) I read this article that said the typical
symptoms of
stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and
driving too
fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a
perfect day.
17) I know what Victoria's Secret is. The secret
is that
nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff.
18 If men can run the world, why can't they stop
wearing
neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day
by tying
a noose around your neck?
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Pregnancy does NOT need to be a struggle - you
don't need to
feel FAT, UNATTRACTIVE and UNCOMFORTABLE. In
"Pregnancy
Without Pounds" I'll show you:
*How to avoid unwanted excess pounds.
*Exactly what exercises get you fit and toned
*How to have an easy labor and quick recovery
*Exactly what you need to do now to lose weight
fast after
delivery.
Secrets to minimize stretch marks and cellulite.
How to
crackdown on food cravings (and why you're having
them).
Secrets to looking and feeling like a sexy mama
And much, much more...
http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/pregnopnds
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