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====> Welcome to DafterLafter
=====> Seriously Scottish Clean Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
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INTRODUCTION:
I want to bring a smile to your faces to day and a
perfect
thing to start the process is this page with some
words to
live by...
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/words.htm
Have a great day!
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
"I used to be scared of dogs. Then I realized that
dogs are
just as scared of me as I am of them; they just
show it
differently. They show it by barking and snapping
at me,
and I show it by wetting myself." --Dakota Shepard
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CARTOON TIME:
Tragic Loss
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200407/025.htm
Phoneless Cord
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200407/026.htm
The Stooges Go To War
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200407/027.htm
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FUN PAGE
Here's a new game for you:
Lunar Command...
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/lunarcommand/index.htm
Once you're bored with that... which didn't take
me long
because it's either rubbish or just not my kind of
game I'd
recommend you have a little play on...
Letter Rip...
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/letterrip/index.htm
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A blonde went to the appliance store sale and
found a
bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told
the
salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back
and
again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this
TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
"Darn, he recognized me," she thought.
She went for a complete disguise this time;
haircut and
new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited
a few
days before she again approached the salesman. "I
would
like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a
blonde?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.
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LIVING YOUR REDNECK DREAMS!
Larry Walters is among the relatively few who have
actually
turned their dreams into reality. His story is
true, though
you may find it hard to believe.
Larry was a truck driver, but his lifelong dream
was to fly.
When he graduated from high school, he joined the
Air Force
in hopes of becoming a pilot. Unfortunately, poor
eyesight
disqualified him. So when he finally left the
service, he
had to satisfy himself with watching others fly
the fighter
jets that crisscrossed the skies over his
backyard. As he
sat there in his lawn chair, he dreamed about the
magic of
flying.
Then one day, Larry Walters got an idea. He went
down to
the local Army-Navy surplus store and bought a
tank of
helium and forty-five weather balloons. These were
not
your brightly colored party balloons, these were
heave-duty
spheres measuring more than four feet across when
fully
inflated. Back in his yard, Larry used straps to
attach the
balloons to his lawn chair, the kind you might
have in your
own backyard.
He anchored the chair to the bumper of his jeep
and
inflated the balloons with helium. Then he packed
some
sandwiches and drinks and loaded a BB gun,
figuring he
could pop a few of those balloons when it was time
to
return to earth.
His preparations complete, Larry Walters sat in
his chair
and cut the anchoring cord. His plan was to lazily
float
back down to terra firma. But things didn't quite
work out
that way.
When Larry cut the cord, he didn't float lazily
up; he shot
up as if fired from a cannon! Nor did he go up a
couple
hundred feet. He climbed and climbed until he
finally
leveled off at eleven thousand feet! At that
height, he
could hardly risk deflating any of the balloons,
lest he
unbalance the load and really experience flying!
So he
stayed up there, sailing around for fourteen
hours, totally
at a loss as to how to get down.
Eventually, Larry drifted into the approach
corridor for Los
Angeles International Airport. A Pan Am pilot
radioed the
tower about passing a guy in a lawn chair at
eleven thousand
feet with a gun in his lap. (Now there's a
conversation I'd
have given anything to have heard!)
LAX is right on the ocean, and you may know that
at nightfall,
the winds on the coast begin to change. So, as
dusk fell,
Larry began drifting out to sea.
At that point, the Navy dispatched a helicopter to
rescue
him. But the rescue team had a hard time getting
to him,
because the draft from their propeller kept
pushing his
homemade contraption farther and farther away.
Eventually
they were able to hover over him and drop a rescue
line
with which they gradually hauled him back to
earth.
As soon as Larry hit the ground, he was arrested.
But as he
was being led away in handcuffs, a television
reported
called out, "Mr. Walters, why'd you do it?"
Larry stopped, eyed the man, then replied
nonchalantly, "A
man can't just sit around."
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