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====> Welcome to DafterLafter
=====> Seriously Scottish Clean Jokes For The
Whole Clan
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Fake Winning Bottle Caps
You've seen the pop bottle games where you can win
a million
dollars, right? Our new FAKE bottle caps replace
those
factory caps (they even look sealed!) with a fake
winner!
Imagine the fun! Give one to your buddy and watch
their face
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grand.
You'll laugh your butt off! Fake losers and
ultimate
proposal caps also available.
http://www.greatworldmedia.com/gagsplus28.htm
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INTRODUCTION:
Yesterday Lizzie left a receipt lying around which
we
needed as it had the code required to top up her
cell phone
with the £35 (around $70) worth of credit we'd
purchased for
it. The home help came in and cleaned up the house
put the
rubbish in the indoors bin and emptied that bin
into the
large outside bin that's used for the whole
apartment block.
It doesn't take much imagination to guess where
the receipt
and code ended up! Well, being Scottish I wasn't
going to
just write off that amount of money. I was all for
throwing
Lizzie into the large bin to root around for it
with dirty
nappies and week-old takeaway meals up to the neck
etc as
these things are the size of skips and they stink!
Fortunately I was able to recognise my black
rubbish bag
as it had yellow drawstrings... also LUCKILY I was
able to
reach it without climbing in. Also luckily the
receipt was
in a bag that didn't have anything yucky in it so
it was
retrieved.
Hopefully it's a lesson earned for Lizzie. I
didn't stop
repeating the words '35 quid' to Lizzie until it
was
retrieved and even afterwards I wouldn't shut up
about
the value of money for about an hour. If it was up
to her
she would have just had me buy another one! WOMEN!
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for
patients
being discharged. However, while working as a
student
nurse, I found one elderly gentleman, already
dressed and
sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his
feet--who insisted
he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he
reluctantly let
me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I
asked him
if his wife was meeting him.
"I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in
the
bathroom changing out of her hospital gown."
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CARTOON TIME:
Casual Dress Day
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200407/007.htm
Coca Cola Bears Having A Break
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200407/008.htm
Time To Feed The Cat
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200407/009.htm
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FUN PAGE
The Lie Detector Test...
http://www.ezines4all.com/fun/lie.htm
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With Funny Jokes Database, you can easily (with
one click):
Send jokes from your computer to your friends by
email
Print jokes on your printer
Export jokes to Microsoft Word
Save jokes to a text file
Search for jokes that fit your search criteria
(e.g. contain a specific word or phrase, belong to
a certain
category, etc.)
Display random jokes
Open the web page, from which the particular joke
was saved,
in your web browser.
...and loads more .
http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/pv1975
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YOU ALWAYS HAVE A BIRTHDAY
Because of a minor infraction, a shipmate of mine
aboard the
USS Reeves, bound for Japan, was busted one rank,
fined and
given extra duty for three weeks. Looking forward
to
celebrating his 21st birthday on July 22, he
consoled
himself every night during his extra duty by
reciting,
"They can bust me, they can fine me -- but they
can't take
away my birthday." As July 22 approached, his
excitement
increased. When he went to bed on July 21, he
happily
repeated,
"They can bust me, they can fine me -- but they
can't take
away my birthday."
The next morning, he found out that the ship had
crossed the
international date line -- and it was July 23.
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WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN KIDS
It doesn't take 45 minutes to get a dog ready to
go outside
in the winter.
Dogs cannot lie.
Dogs never resist nap time.
You don't need to get extra phone lines for a dog.
Dogs don't pester you about getting a kid.
Dogs don't care if the peas have been touched by
the mashed
potatoes.
Dogs are housebroken by the time they are 12 weeks
old.
Your dog is not embarrassed if you sing in public.
Average cost of sending a dog to school: $42
Average cost of sending a kid: $103,000
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