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=====> Seriously Scottish Clean Jokes For The
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INTRODUCTION:
We had friends round last night until well after
4am even
although we were due up early this morning. Graeme
was
meant to bring a game round for me and as he's
forgetful
I reminded him just before he left his house. When
he
arrived I asked him for the game and his face fell
as he
realised he'd forgotten it. Wanting the game I
suggested we
get a taxi to his house and collect the game...
which we then
did. I made sure Graeme collected the game and put
it in his
bag for bringing back to mine. We then got another
taxi to
the train station to meet Johnny. After that we
got a taxi
from the train station back to mine. I told Graeme
to get
the game out of the bag but the game wasn't in the
bag. We
then got a taxi back to his house to see if it had
fallen
out of the bag at his house... which it hadn't.
So, we
phoned the taxi company to see if it had fallen
out in
Taxi #2 (#3 for Graeme as he'd got a taxi to mine
in the
first place) the taxi company said the driver had
found it
and that he was in the area... so we got the game
off of
him and got him to drive us back to my house... so
much of
the evening was already gone by that time anyway.
Eventually
they got a taxi home after 4am... that made 7
taxis in
total for Graeme, I'm pretty sure that we keep the
taxi
companies in business... he blames his Gabapentin
for his
forgetfulness... I take Gabapentin and Codeine
Phosphate
and lots of other things and I never forget
anything...
Let's hope I remember to send this tonight!
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
Unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother,
an
impeccable housekeeper, rushed around
straightening up. She
put my father and brother to work cleaning the
guest
bathroom. Later, when she went to inspect it, she
was
surprised that the once-cluttered room had been
tidied up so
quickly. Then she saw the note on the closed
shower
curtains. It read "Thank you for not looking in
the
bathtub."
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CARTOON TIME:
Wrong Side Of The Bed...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200406/076.htm
Cat Scan...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200406/077.htm
Do Men Ever Read Signs?...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200406/078.htm
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FUN PAGE
If anyone remembers 'Marble Madness' then this is
a bit like
that except it's extremely tricky... so much so
that I gave
up on it because I hate things that involve such
an amount
of skill and coordination that I'm not instantly
good at
them.
Gyroball...
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/gyroball/index.htm
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ANOTHER FUNERAL
One of my students could not take my college
seminar final
exam because of a funeral. "No problem," I told
him. "Make
it up the following week."
That week came, and again he couldn't take the
test due to
another funeral.
"You'll have to take the test early next week," I
insisted.
"I can't keep postponing it."
"I'll take the test next week if no one dies," he
told me.
By now I was suspicious. "How can you have so many
people
you know pass away in three weeks?" I asked.
"I don't know any of these people," he said. "I'm
the only
gravedigger in town."
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BLONDE PAINTER
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to
hire
herself out as a handy-woman' and started
canvassing a
nearby well- to-do neighborhood.
She went to the front door of the first house, and
asked
the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch," he said, "How much
will you
charge me? "
The blonde, after looking about, responded, "How
about $50?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and
other
materials that she might need were in the garage.
The man's wife, inside the house, heard the
conversation
and said to her husband, "Does she realize that
the porch
goes all the way around the house?"
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to
collect
her money.
"You're finished already?" the husband asked.
"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I had paint left
over, so
gave it two coats.
"Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for
the $50.00
and handed it to her.
"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a
Porch, it's
a Lexus."
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