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====> Welcome to DafterLafter
=====> Seriously Scottish Clean Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom
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Classic Gags at Old Fashioned Low Prices!
Backward Running Clock - The Pranksters Handbook
Kitty Crap - Poodle Poop - Doggy Doo
Squirting Flowers, Rings and even Toilet Seats
Fake Flies - Creepy Mouse - Floating Eyeball
and who can forget magic candles that just won't
go out?
http://www.greatworldmedia.com/gagsplus16.htm
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INTRODUCTION:
Sorry about the lack of jokes yesterday, as an
apology here
is something to make you smile...
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/bigcheese.htm
Have a great day!
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he
should
cut it in six or twelve pieces. She responded,
"Six,
please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
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CARTOON TIME:
Flying In Formation...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200406/073.htm
Missing You...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200406/074.htm
Congratulations On Your New Baby...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200406/075.htm
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FUN PAGE
This game is fun because it's a bit different from
all the
other games you find around... it's quite fun and
interesting, you'll find out for yourself by
having a go!
Gravity...
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/gravity/index.htm
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ALL THAT SHE WANTS
The Boudreauxs are driving along a highway doing a
steady
forty miles per hour. Marie is behind the wheel.
Boudreaux suddenly looks across at her and speaks
in his
clear cajun voice. "Darlin'," he says. "I know we
ben'
married for twenty years, but I want a divorce."
Marie Says nothing, keeps looking at the road
ahead but
slowly increases her speed to 45 mph.
Boudreaux speaks again. "I doan want you to try to
tok me
out of it," he says, "'cause ah ben havin' an
affair wit
you best friend, Tu-tutt , an' she's a far betta'
lover
den you are."
Again Marie stays quiet, but grips the steering
wheel
more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55.
He pushes his luck. "I want duh house", he says
insistently.
Up to 60... "I want duh car too," he continues.
65 mph... "An'," he says. "I'll have duh bank
accounts,
all duh credit cards an' duh boat."
The car slowly starts veering towards a massive
concrete bridge.
This make him a wee bit nervous, so he asks her.
"Isn't
dere anyting' you want?"
Marie at last replies -- in a quiet and controlled
voice.
"No, I' got everyting I need," she says.
"Really?" he inquires with a smile, "so what you
got?"
Just before they slam into the wall at 75 mph,
Marie turns
to him and smiles. " Duh airbag!"
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REMEMBER 1957?
I know some of you are not old enough to remember,
but this
email below was put together in a great way, hope
you enjoy
it.
Remember this?
The following were some comments made in the year
1957:
(1) "I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going
the way
they are, its going to be impossible to buy a
weeks
groceries for $20.00."
(2) "Have you seen the new cars coming out next
year? It
won't be long when $5,000 will only buy a used
one."
(3) "If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm
going to
quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous."
(4) "Did you hear the post office is thinking
about
charging a dime just to mail a letter?"
(5) "If they raise the minimum wage to $1, nobody
will be
able to hire outside help at the store."
(6) "When I first started driving, who would have
thought
gas would someday cost 29 cents a gallon. Guess
we'd be
better off leaving the car in the garage,"
(7) "Kids today are impossible. Those ducktail
hair cuts
make it impossible to stay groomed. Next thing you
know,
boys will be wearing their hair as long as the
girls,"
(8) "I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any
more.
Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying
damn
in "Gone With The Wind", it seems every new movie
has
either hell or damn in it."
(9) "I read the other day where some scientist
thinks
it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end
of the
century. They even have some fellows they call
astronauts
preparing for it down in Texas."
(10) "Did you see where some baseball player just
signed
a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball?
It
wouldn't surprise me if someday that they will be
making
more than the President."
(11) "I never thought I'd see the day all our
kitchen
appliances would be electric. They are even making
electric typewriters now"
(12) "It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I
see
where a few married women are having to work to
make
ends meet."
(13) "It won't be long before young couples are
going to
have to hire someone to watch their kids so they
can both
work."
(15) "I'm just afraid the Volkswagen car is going
to open
the door to a whole lot of foreign business."
(16) "Thank goodness I won't live to see the day
when the
Government takes half our income in taxes. I
sometimes
wonder if we are electing the best people to
Congress."
(17) "The drive-in restaurant is convenient in
nice
weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever
catch on."
(18) "I guess taking a vacation is out of the
question now
days. It costs nearly $15.00 a night to stay in a
hotel."
(19) "No one can afford to be sick any more,
$35.00 a day
in the hospital is too rich for my blood."
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