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====> Welcome to DafterLafter
=====> Seriously Scottish Clean Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom
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Mr. Wonderful Talking Romantic Doll!
Press his hand and he says 16 different things to
make you
feel you are the most wonderful woman on Earth:
"You know honey, why don't you just relax and let
me make
dinner tonight."
"The ball game isn't really that important, I'd
rather
spend time with you."
"Why don't we go to the mall, didn't you want some
new shoes?"
"You know, I think it's really important that we
talk
about our relationship."
"You've been on my mind all day. That's why I
bought you
these flowers."
Click below to listen to him online before you
buy:
http://www.greatworldmedia.com/gagsplus03.htm
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INTRODUCTION:
From time to time you get something that is just
so so
brilliant that you have to share it with everyone
you know.
Today is one of those days where I have something
to share
with each of you. Now... this really is a cracker.
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/cracker.htm
Have a great day and don't take life too
seriously!
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
The police recently busted a man selling 'secret
formula'
tablets he claimed gave eternal youth.
When going through their files they noticed it was
the
fifth time he was caught for committing this same
criminal
medical fraud.
He had earlier been arrested in 1794, 1856, 1928
and 1983.
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CARTOON TIME:
Chatroom Romance...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200406/034.htm
You Know You're With The Wrong ISP When......
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200406/035.htm
Yack Yack Yack... WOMEN!...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200406/036.htm
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FUN PAGE
Dog Owners Watch Out...
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/dogowners.htm
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If you want to learn Photoshop fast and you want
to do it
without reading boring books or going to expensive
classes
then this might be the most important letter you
read all
year.
Here's what this is all about:
Now you can learn Photoshop in less than 2 hours
thanks to
newly released, interactive video tutorials that
play on
your computer screen. You don't even need to own
the
Photoshop software to use these videos. Everything
you
need to learn Photoshop is included.
http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/jgardeners
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ORDERING A PIZZA IN THE YEAR 2012
Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I
have
your..."
Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order a pizza."
Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"
Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on,
eh, it's
6102049998-45-54610."
Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live
at 1742
Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366.
Your
office number over at Lincoln Insurance is
745-2302 and
your cell number's 266-2566. Which number are you
calling
from, sir?"
Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all
this
information?"
Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir."
Customer: "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of
your
All-Meat Special pizzas..."
Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."
Customer: "Whaddya mean?"
Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that
you
have very high blood pressure and extremely high
cholesterol.
Your National Health Care provider won't allow
such an
unhealthy choice."
Customer: "Damn. What do you recommend, then?"
Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean
Yogurt Pizza.
I'm sure you'll like it."
Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something
like
that?"
Operator: "Well, you checked out Gourmet Soybean
Recipes from
your local library last week, sir. That's why I
made the
suggestion."
Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two
family-sized
ones, then. What's the damage?"
Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your
wife and your
four kids, sir. The damage, as you put it, heh,
heh, comes to
$49.99."
Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."
Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll
have to pay
in cash. Your credit card balance is over its
limit."
Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some
cash
before your driver gets here."
Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your
checking
account's overdrawn."
Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll
have the
cash ready. How long will it take?"
Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir.
It'll be
about 45 minutes. If you're in a hurry, you might
want to
pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but
carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little
awkward."
Customer: "How the hell do you know I'm riding a
bike?"
Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your
car
payments, so your car got repo'ed, but your
Harley's paid up,
so I just assumed that you'd be using it."Operator:
"I'd
advise watching your language, sir. You've already
got a
July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop."
Customer: (Speechless)
Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"
Customer: "No, nothing. Oh, yeah, don't forget the
two free
bottles of Coke your ad says I get with the
pizzas."
Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's
exclusionary clause
prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics."
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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
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"You Can Easily Make Creative, Interesting Window
Valances
That Look Like You Paid a Professional Thousands
of
Dollars To Make..."
Looking to decorate your windows?
Give Me 5 Minutes And I'll Show You How
You Can Make Your Very Own Window Valances
Step-By-Step
and Save Thousands of Dollars Doing It
http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/sewhomedec
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WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN KIDS
45 minutes to get a dog ready to go outside in the
winter?
-- NOT!
Dogs cannot lie.
Dogs never resist nap time.
You don't need to get extra phone lines for a dog.
Dogs don't pester you about getting a kid.
Dogs don't care if the peas have been touched by
the potatoes.
Average cost of sending a dog to school: $42...
Average cost of sending a kid: $103,000...
Dogs are housebroken by the time they are 12 weeks
old.
Your dog isn't embarrassed if you sing in public.
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Double The Speed Of Your PC
Discover some of the most amazing secrets to speed
up and
optimize your PC that you will ever learn, you can
do
everything in this report without spending a
single cent on
hardware and I will show you exactly how in these
two main
categories:
1) Hardware Optimization - e.g. CPU, modem, hard
disk, CD
drive, memory etc...
(2) Software Optimization - e.g. Internet
Explorer, Outlook,
Media Player, Office 2000 etc...
http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/sanderson
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