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====> Welcome to DafterLafter
=====> Seriously Scottish Clean Jokes For The
Whole Clan
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INTRODUCTION:
Yesterday we were out in the park giving the dog a
run. She
is a cross golden retriever and yellow labrador...
she can
also run pretty fast. I was walking forward and
turned
around to see her bounding towards me at extremely
high
speeds. She hit me side on and smashed through my
knee at
such a speed it buckled my knee and threw me up in
the
air... she kept on running and I landed smack on
the
ground.
The fall did not hurt one bit; tu her crashing
into my knee
at 30 miles per hour did.
I've never been shot but imagine it would feel
something
like that.
I will have a reminder of it for a few days but as
I already
take lots of NSAIDs and Narcotics on a daily basis
I
shouldn't notice the pain too much.
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
Two men were finishing their work day and one
said, "I hate
to go home! Every night I eat the same tasteless
food, wash
the dishes, walk the dog, and then go to bed." His
co-worker
asked, "Why don't you find a nice girl and get
married?" As
the first man slammed his briefcase shut he
replied, "I AM
married!!!"
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CARTOON TIME:
Digging Your Way Out Of Trouble...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200406/028.htm
Chemistry Class...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200406/029.htm
Christmas Cat...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200406/030.htm
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FUN PAGE
Another Pac Man Style Game...
Flash Man...
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DROPPING MONEY DOWN THE TOILET
Two friends, a Scotsman and a Jew, are out
drinking one
night. Eventually Nature calls, and so they head
for the
head. The Scotsman takes the lone urinal, and the
Jew says
that he has to take a dump anyway so he enters the
stall.
The usual noises are heard for a minute, and then
the Jew
says "Damn!"
"What's the matter?" inquires the Scotsman.
"Well, when I was pulling my pants up, I dropped a
dime
into the toilet."
The Scotsman joins the Jew in the stall to look at
the sad
sight. They both shake their heads in despair.
Then the
Scotsman reaches into his pocket and drops a
quarter into
the toilet.
"What did you do that for?!?" cries the Jew.
And the Scotsman sez, "Och, Ya donna think I'll
stick my
hand in there for a mere dime?"
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COMMENTS ON THE FOREST
These are actual comments left last year on Forest
Service
registration sheets and comment cards by
backpackers
completing wilderness camping trips.
"A small deer came into my camp and stole my bag
of pickles.
Is there a way I can get reimbursed? Please call."
"Escalators would help on steep uphill sections."
"Instead of a permit system or regulations, the
Forest
Service needs to reduce worldwide population
growth to
limit the number of visitors to wilderness."
"Trails need to be wider so people can walk while
holding
hands."
"Ban walking sticks in wilderness. Hikers that use
walking
sticks are more likely to chase animals."
"All the mile markers are missing this year."
"Found a smoldering cigarette left by a horse."
"Trails need to be reconstructed. Please avoid
building
trails that go uphill."
"Too many bugs and leeches and spiders and spider
webs.
Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of
these pests."
"Please pave the trails so they can be plowed of
snow in
the winter."
"Chair lifts need to be in some places so that we
can get
to wonderful views without having to hike to
them."
"The coyotes made too much noise last night and
kept me
awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals."
"Reflectors need to be placed on trees every 50
feet so
people can hike at night with flashlights."
"Need more signs to keep area pristine."
"A McDonald's would be nice at the trail head."
"The places where trails do not exist are not well
marked."
"Too many rocks in the mountains."
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