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====> Welcome to DafterLafter
=====> Seriously Scottish Clean Jokes For The
Whole Clan
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INTRODUCTION:
This message is to inform you that I will be
unavailable for
the next two weeks. I am having substantial
repairs done to
my home and it is essential that I am present to
supervise
the new contractor.
Click below to see a photo...
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/contractor.htm
Heh heh, I wish... I'm going nowhere I'm afraid.
Enjoy todays jokes!
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
A patient was waiting nervously in the examination
room of a
famous specialist.
"So who did you see before coming to me?" asked
the doctor.
"My local General Practitioner."
"Your GP?" scoffed the doctor. "What a waste of
time. Tell
me, what sort of useless advice did he give you?"
"He told me to come and see you."
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CARTOON TIME:
Reality Check...
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How Every Man Ends Up...
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Cheerios...
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FUN PAGE
Has the internet gone mad? Yes, it would appear
so...
Doggy Dating...
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DYING WITH DEBTS
An elderly man took his little grandson for a walk
around
the local cemetery. Pausing before one gravestone
he said,
"There lies a very honest man. He died owing me 50
dollars,
but he struggled to the end to pay off his debts,
and if
anyone has gone to heaven, he has."
They walked on a bit further and then came to
another grave.
The old man pointed to the gravestone and said,
"Now there's
a different type of man altogether. He owed me 60
dollars and
he died without ever trying to pay me back. If
anyone has
gone to hell, he has."
The little boy thought for a while and then said,
"You know,
Grandpa, you are very lucky."
"Why?" asked the old man in surprise.
"Well, whichever place you go to, you'll have some
money to
draw on."
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SMELLING FOOD
Old Abraham was a poor tailor whose shop was next
door to a
very upscale French restaurant. Every day at lunch
time,
Abraham would go out the back of his shop and eat
his black
bread and herring while smelling the wonderful
odors coming
from the restaurant's kitchen. But one day,
Abraham was
surprised to receive an invoice from the
restaurant for
'enjoyment of food'. So he went to the restaurant
to point
out that he had not bought anything from them.
The manager said, "You're enjoying our food, so
you should
pay us for it."
Abraham refused to pay and the restaurant sued
him.
At the hearing, the judge asked the restaurant to
present
their side of the case.
The manager said, "Every day, this man comes and
sits
outside our kitchen and smells our food while
eating his. It
is clear that we are providing added value to his
poor food
and we deserve to be compensated for it."
The judge turns to Abraham and said, "What do you
have to
say to that?"
Abraham didn't say anything but stuck his hand in
his pocket
and rattled the few coins he had inside.
The judge asked him, "What is the meaning of
that?"
Abraham replied, "I'm paying for the smell of his
food with
the sound of my money."
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