| |
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
====> Welcome to DafterLafter
=====> Seriously Scottish Clean Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
* ~ * ~ *
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
Fantastic Fish Ponds
You'll Have The Fish Pond You've Always Dreamed of
Or You
Get to Keep This Breakthrough Book For FREE!
Jam-packed With Proven Techniques That Will Teach
You How
to Have the Ultimate Backyard Fish Pond and Make
Sure Your
Fish Are Healthy and Happy - Guaranteed!
http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/fishponds
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
INTRODUCTION:
For reasons that I won't go into yesterdays
mailing didn't
arrive in your mailboxes until early this morning
for which
I can only say 'sorry'. I had considered not
mailing
anything today but decided it was best not to make
you go
without. I'll keep this intro brief today as
you've had two
lots of jokes to get through. Tomorrow I might
tell you
about our trip to tour the Royal Yacht Britannia
which we
went round on Monday.
Phil
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
QUICK JOKE
The staff at a business office was hosting a
farewell
luncheon for a retiring colleague. As the group
prepared to
go to the restaurant, they found that they
couldn't fit the
giant balloon they had purchased for the retiring
'guest of
honor' into the car. Undaunted, they simply held
the balloon
out the window as they drove.
The office workers were not prepared for the
glares they
received from passers-by, however. As the long
line of
traffic in front of their vehicle began to turn,
they saw
that their car was right behind a long funeral
procession.
There was nothing they could do but hold on to the
balloon
with its large farewell message: "GONE, BUT NOT
FORGOTTEN."
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
CARTOON TIME:
Mens Meeting...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200405/025.htm
The Clutter Fairy...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200405/026.htm
A Flat Minor...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200405/027.htm
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
FUN PAGE
An adventure game which requires a great deal of
logic!
Crypt Raider...
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/cryptraider/index.htm
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
ATTENTION MAILING LIST OWNERS!
Did you know
www.YourListHost.com is cheaper than
other list
hosts?
We promise that we are cheaper than your current
paid list
host and we won't put any advertising in your
mailings like
the free hosts do.
We also spend countless hours building
relationships with
the major and minor ISPs making sure that your
mail is
delivered, something users of one of the most
popular list
mailing software have a huge problem with (whether
they are
aware or not).
Please email
admin@yourlasthost.com for a quote to
see how
much you could save. All we require is your number
of
subscribers, frequency of mailing and average
number of
kilobytes per message.
Or visit
http://www.yourlisthost.com for more
information.
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
STUCK IN A ROOM
An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty
new blonde
stewardess. The route they were flying had a
stay-over in
another city, so upon their arrival, the captain
showed the
stewardess the best place for airline personnel to
eat, shop
and stay overnight.
The next morning as the pilot was preparing the
crew for the
day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was
missing. He
knew which room she was in at the hotel and called
her up
wondering what happened to her. She answered the
phone,
sobbing, and said she couldn't get out of her
room.
"You can't get out of your room?" the captain
asked, "Why
not?"
The stewardess replied: "There are only three
doors in
here," she cried, "one is the bathroom, one is the
closet,
and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not
Disturb'!"
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
Double The Speed Of Your PC
Discover some of the most amazing secrets to speed
up and
optimize your PC that you will ever learn, you can
do
everything in this report without spending a
single cent on
hardware and I will show you exactly how in these
two main
categories:
1) Hardware Optimization - e.g. CPU, modem, hard
disk, CD
drive, memory etc...
(2) Software Optimization - e.g. Internet
Explorer, Outlook,
Media Player, Office 2000 etc...
http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/sanderson
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
THE THREE KICK RULE
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural
Tennessee. He
shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a
farmer's field
on the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly
farmer
drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was
doing.
The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it
fell in this
field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and
you are
not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best
trial
attorneys in the United States and, if you don't
let me get
that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you
own."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you
don't know
how we settle disputes in Tennessee. We settle
small
disagreements like this with the "Three Kick
Rule.""
The lawyer asked, "What is the Three Kick Rule?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute
occurs on my
land, first I kick you three times and then you
kick me
three times and so on back and forth until someone
gives up."
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed
contest and
decided that he could easily take the old codger.
He agreed
to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the
tractor and
walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted
the toe of
his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's
groin and
dropped him to his knees. His second kick to the
midriff
sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his
mouth. The
lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third
kick to his
rear end sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and
managed to get
to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his
jacket, he
said, "Okay, Now it's my turn."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up.
You can
have the duck."
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
No credit checks and you don’t need to own a home.
Get approved today, and the money you need in 24
hours!
It's Quick, Easy and Confidential.
Get YOUR CASH NOW
http://mocda4.com/1/c/22998/192341/352920/352920
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.- |
