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====> Welcome to DafterLafter
=====> Seriously Scottish Clean Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom
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Double The Speed Of Your PC
Discover some of the most amazing secrets to speed
up and
optimize your PC that you will ever learn, you can
do
everything in this report without spending a
single cent on
hardware and I will show you exactly how in these
two main
categories:
1) Hardware Optimization - e.g. CPU, modem, hard
disk, CD
drive, memory etc...
(2) Software Optimization - e.g. Internet
Explorer, Outlook,
Media Player, Office 2000 etc...
http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/sanderson
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INTRODUCTION:
The links in the last couple of mailings for the
cartoons
had the wrong description, you can view the
'correct' ones
online at
http://www.ezines4all.com/dl200404
On a different note...
I have to admit it... I am an addict :-(
That's because I'm addicted to a game I ran a
couple of
weeks ago. Is it some great Sim? No. Is it a
shoot-em-up?
No! Is it a great sports game? No. All it is is a
game
where you are a fish in a pond and you have to eat
smaller
fish to become the biggest fish in the pond. Does
my
addiction suggest some psychological disorder
where I want
to eat up all my smaller counterparts to become
the biggest
in my small pond? I really don't know... but it's
a very
frustrating game... especially when you run into a
bigger
fish that eats you up!
Play fishy yourself at:
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/fishy.htm
Fishingly,
Fishy Phil
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QUICK JOKE
While stationed in Washington, D.C., a man used
Arlington
National Cemetery as a shortcut on his way to give
a
briefing at Fort Myer.
To his surprise, he encountered a roadblock manned
by the
military police. An MP approached him and asked in
a stern
voice, "Are you supposed to be here?"
Unsure of what to say, he replied, "Not yet." The
MP held
back a smile and waved him on.
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CARTOON TIME:
Dumb Sign...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200404/013.htm
RIP Mohammad Said Al-Sahal...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200404/014.htm
New Cars For Women...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200404/015.htm
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FUN PAGE
Todays page is a fun little game!
Bug On A Wire...
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/bugonawire
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ATTENTION!!! New Virus Epidemic!
Netsky and Bagel have now infected more than a
million
computers since they were first detected, causing
losses of
more than 38,500 million dollars.
Does your computer seem to be running slower than
usual? If
you've using the Internet over the past month,
your computer
may be infected with a computer Virus that your
current
Anti-virus software may have failed to detect and
remove.
Some of this computer viruses disable many
Antivirus
programs so that they remain undetected! PAL
Emergency
Response is an Anti-virus program that works
separate from
any other program on your PC and will remove all
the latest
computer threats.
http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/emergencyr
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PROTECTION
The following are a few simple ways to keep
burglars out of
the house by putting a few signs in well-placed
locations.
Dear Mr. Butcher, starting tomorrow, please leave
eight
pounds of meat for Brutus. Six pounds only makes
him angry
and vicious!
Dear Mr. Mailman, we found bloodstains all over
our mail.
They must be yours. The next time you put mail
into our
slot, please be sure to keep all parts of your
body well
clear of all openings. P.S. - Any sign of that
book we
sent for, "The Care and Feeding of Wild Jungle
Cats"?
Dear Mr. Exterminator, be very careful when you go
inside!
The termites have eaten through most of the
floorboards and
you will fall into the basement where all of the
rats are!
To whom it may concern: Some of the items in this
house have
been engraved with Federal Identification Numbers.
Others
have merely been wired to explode when touched.
Good luck...
Selma, don't come in! The boa constrictor got
loose again...
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If you want to learn Photoshop fast and you want
to do it
without reading boring books or going to expensive
classes
then this might be the most important letter you
read all
year.
Here's what this is all about:
Now you can learn Photoshop in less than 2 hours
thanks to
newly released, interactive video tutorials that
play on
your computer screen. You don't even need to own
the
Photoshop software to use these videos. Everything
you
need to learn Photoshop is included.
http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/jgardeners
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BABY NAMES
Baby name ideas, based on your occupation.....
PROFESSION: NAME
Lawyer's daughter: Sue
Thief's son: Rob
Lawyer's son: Will
Doctor's son: Bill
Meteorologist's daughter: Haley
Steam shovel operator's son: Doug
Hair stylist's son: Bob
Homeopathic doctor's son: Herb
Justice of the peace's daughter: Mary
Sound stage technician's son: Mike
Hot-dog vendor's son: Frank
Gambler's daughter: Betty
Exercise guru's son: Jim
Cattle thief's son: Russell
Painter's son: Art
Iron worker's son: Rusty
TV show star's daughter: Emmy
Movie star's son: Oscar
Barber's son: Harry
Housewife's son: Dusty
Minister's daughter: Faith
Day-trader's daughter: Hope
Televangelist's daughter: Charity
Geneticist's son: Gene
Espresso vendor's son: Joe
Undertaker's son: Barry
Beautician's son: Curly
Gardener's daughter: Daisy
Florist's daughter: Rose
Baker's daughter: Cookie
Manicurist's son: Hans
Athlete's son: Victor
Plumber's son: John
Accountant's son: Ira
Musician's daughter: Melody
Jeweler's daughter: Opal
Gastrointerologist's daughter: Fanny
Butcher's daughter: Patty
Bartender's daughter: Brandy
Counterfeiter's son: Bill
Museum curator's son: Art
Book printer's daughter: Paige
Trout fisher's daughter: Brook
Publisher's daughter: Mag
Woodworker's daughter: Peg
Tennis player's son: Ace
Clothing manufacturer's daughter: Polly Esther
Teacher's son: Mark
Singer's twin daughters: Harmony & Melody Highway
patrolman's son: Chase
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Have you noticed your computer running slower than
ever?
The reason for that may have to do with online
advertisers
adding SpyWare or AdWare to your computer without
your
knowledge. "Spyware" is a common term for files
that are
installed on your system without your knowledge
that allow
companies to monitor your Internet activity. "AdWare"
is
software that will show you popup ads over and
over. What
they don't tell you, however, is how these files
can be
extremely dangerous to your PC and could cause
major
problems with your PC.
We are offering every computer owner, including
yourself,
the opportunity to scan your computer to see how
many
"SpyWare" infections your PC has free of charge.
To scan your computer for free, click here:
http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/trekblue8
Our goal is to put an end to shady online
advertising so
that Internet users can enjoy the World Wide Web
without
having their privacy intruded upon.
We urge you to run the free scan!
Click Here To Begin Scan:
http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/trekblue8
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