DafterLafter - 01 June 2004

 

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====> Welcome to DafterLafter
=====> Seriously Scottish Clean Jokes For The Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom

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INTRODUCTION:

I'm a little ill at the moment which has slowed me down this
last week or so, hopefully I'll be up to full throttle again
soon so that normal service may resume.

Phil

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QUICK JOKE

The school of agriculture's dean of admissions was
interviewing a prospective student, "Why have you chosen
this career?" he asked.

"I dream of making a million dollars in farming, like my
father," the student replied.

"Your father made a million dollars in farming?" echoed the
dean much impressed.

"No," replied the applicant. "But he always dreamed of it."

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PEST CONTROL

My husband works as a service technician for a large
exterminating company.

One of the rules of the company is that he has to comfirm
each appointment by phone the night before his service call
to that household.

One evening he made such a call, and when a man answered
the phone, he said,

"Hi, this is Gary from A to Z Pest Control Company. Your
wife phoned us."

There was a long silence, and then my husband heard the man
on the other end say,

"Honey, it's for you......someone wants to talk to you
about your relatives."

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House Train Your Dog The Right Way... The First Time

Learn the amazing dog potty training secrets that will
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part of your family!!

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HOW TO PREPARE NOW FOR NEXT WINTER'S SKI SEASON....

10. Visit your local butcher and pay $10 to sit in his
walk-in freezer for half an hour. Afterwards, burn two $50
dollar bills to warm up.

9. Go to the nearest hockey rink and walk across the ice
20 times in your ski boots carrying two pairs of skis,
accessory bag and poles. Pretend you are looking for your
car.

8. For ski boot simulation at home, put a pebble in your
street shoes and tighten a C-clamp around your toes.

7. Buy a pair of gloves and immediately throw one away.

6. Go to McDonald's and insist on paying $6.50 for a
hamburger. Be sure to wait in the longest line.

5. Clip a lift ticket to the zipper of your jacket and
ride a motorcycle fast enough to make the ticket
lacerate your face.

4. Drive slowly for five hours - anywhere - as long as
it's in a snowstorm and you're following an 18 wheeler.

3. Fill a blender with ice, hit the pulse button and let
the spray blast your face. You'd almost believe you're
skiing in front of a snowmaker!

2. Dress up in as many clothes as you can and then proceed
to take them off because you have to go to the bathroom.

1. Repeat all of the above every Saturday and Sunday.

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