| |
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
====> Welcome to DafterLafter
=====> Seriously Scottish Clean Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
* ~ * ~ *
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
Why does buying a car have to be such a hassle? At
Bar None
we asked just that, and came up with a car-buying
program
that makes life simple. Regardless of no credit,
or bad
credit, we could have you on the road in as little
as 24
hours and feeling good again. It’s Fast, and Easy!
http://mocda3.com/1/c/22998/174290/349236/349236
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
INTRODUCTION:
Back to our normal time slot tonight, I was caught
up
yesterday so didn't get to post in time. I'd done
everything
in advance but just had to hit the send key but
didn't want
to delay things further by editing my pre-written
intro...
full of my usual controversy which causes dozens
to send
abuse and demands that I unsubscribe them from the
list
(funny how the ones with stupid and ignorant
political
beliefs are the same ones too stupid to work out
how to
unsubscribe themselves)... oh well :-)
For the rest of you, have a lovely day. Sadly the
weekend is
nearly over but hopefully I can bring you a bit of
cheer
throughout the next week.
Phil
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
QUICK JOKE
"I have always wished that my computer would be as
easy to
use as my telephone. My wish has come true. I no
longer know
how to use my telephone"
--Bjarne Stronstrup (originator of C++ programming
language)
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
CARTOON TIME:
Right Click On Mouse...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200402/049.htm
Fun Flume...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200402/050.htm
The Balance Of Nature...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200402/051.htm
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
FUN PAGE
Alien Abduction...
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/alienabduction
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
Would you like to win $1000 just for telling us
how you
feel?
Join the Synovate Consumer Opinion Panel and
you’ll be
eligible to win!
http://1.primaryads.com/z/1573/CD876/
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
LEARNING UP ON THE WORD 'UP'
There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more
meaning
than any other two-letter word, and that is "UP."
If you are not confused after reading this you
must really
be messed "UP."
It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky
or at
the top of the list but when we waken in the
morning, why
do we wake UP.
At a meeting, why does a topic come UP?
Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for
election
and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a
report?
We call UP our friends, we use it to brighten UP a
room,
polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and
clean UP
the kitchen.
We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old
car.
At other times the little word has real special
meaning.
People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work
UP an
appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is
one thing
but to be dressed UP is special, and this is
confusing.
A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped
UP. We
open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP
at night.
We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP.
To be knowledgeable of the proper uses of UP, look
UP the
word in the dictionary. In a desk size dictionary,
UP
takes UP almost 1/4th the page and definitions add
UP to
about thirty.
If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a
list of
the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of
your
time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP
with a
hundred or more.
When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding
UP. When
the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When
it rains,
it wets UP the earth. When it doesn't rain for a
while,
things dry UP.
One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for
now my
time is UP, so I'll shut UP...!!!!!!
Just one last thing........when we pass on I hope
we go UP.
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
FREE $5 Gagsplus Gift Voucher
Get REVENGE on any Golfer with these hilarious
gags!
Pop a Putt
Spring-loaded device that pops the ball back out
of the
hole. Great for golf outings!
Exploding Golf Ball
This ball is made of compressed powder and will
explode
into a cloud of dust on impact
The Phantom Golf Ball
Tee it up and when it's hit, the ball vanishes
into a mist
of water!
Unputtaball Golf Ball
Rolls crooked, skids and gyrates when putted!
Gagsplus has these and lots more gags for all
Occasions!
To get your FREE $5 Gagsplus Gift Voucher simply
download
the free Tafbar from Tafmaster
http://www.greatworldmedia.com/offers/tafbar.htm
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
QUESTIONS TO GOD
These questions were reportedly asked by
elementary children
and appeared in a newspaper article.
Dear God: Why did you make people talk foreign
languages? It
would be easier if everybody could talk English
like you and
me.
Dear God: If you made the sun and the moon and the
stars you
must have had lots of equipment.
Dear God: Instead of letting people die and having
to make
new ones why don't you just keep the ones you have
now?
Dear God: How come you only have 10 rules and our
school has
millions?
Dear God: When you made the first man did he work
as good as
we do now?
Dear God: There were no clouds Saturday so I think
I saw
your feet. Did I really?
Dear God: I know there's a God because I go to His
house on
Sunday and see all the cars parked there.
Dear God: Where does yesterday go? Do you have it?
Dear God: I'm afraid of things at night more than
in the
day. So if you could keep the sun on longer that
would be a
good thing.
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
Enter for your chance to Win a Laptop, PS2, $1000
Cash, or
a 55" Big Screen TV!
http://1.primaryads.com/z/1765/CD876/
<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
<><><><><><><><>
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.- |
