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====> Welcome to DafterLafter
=====> Seriously Scottish Clean Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom
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Discover the Secrets to America's Most Wanted
Recipes.
Now You Can Have These All-Time Favorite Recipes
to Easily
Prepare
in Your Own Kitchen. Impress Your Family and
Friends with
Recipes They'll Love
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INTRODUCTION:
I have a bad habit of taking taxis everywhere.
It's far too
easy and the bus stop is quite a walk away, then
there are
so many different bus routes... and I'm scared of
getting
lost and being a male I will never ask for
directions. Plus,
taxis are nice and warm and the drivers usually
know where
they're going way better than I do... not to
mention they're
safer.
It's all too easy to make excuses, today we're
going out to
a new place for dinner. I've booked it online to
get a 2
for 1 discount, I've looked where it on a map and
I've
phoned the bus company to ask which bus goes
there... so
that's the plan. If you don't hear from me in a
while you'll
know that I've got well and trully lose!
Have fun, it's Monday... don't work too hard
otherwise you'll
be tired for the rest of the week.
Phil
PS Don't forget the five portions of fruit and veg
a day!
PPS Do Potato Chips/Crisps count as a portion as
they have
potato?
PPPS How about onion rings? mmmmmmmm, onion rings
PPPPS If garlic is good for you, is garlic bread?
Or garlic
pizza bread with cheese, how about garlic ciabatta
bread?
Droolingly (yet again),
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
A Scotsman was visiting a friend in the mountains
of Canada.
The first morning in the cabin, he awoke and stood
by the
window admiring the scenery. Suddenly, he noticed
a huge
animal walk by.
"Och, whut's thaaat?" he said.
His Canadian friend looked out the window and
said,
"Oh, that's a moose."
"Och! If thaaat's a moose, hoo big are your cats
aroond
here?
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CARTOON TIME:
Peaceful Birds...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200402/031.htm
Stupid Sign...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200402/032.htm
Dog Notice...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200402/033.htm
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FUN PAGE
Celebrity Love Match...
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=210&pid=2897&s=n
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2Bucks An Ad Advertising Program.
Ads in multiple ezines for $1.00 each (or less!
90+ ezines
(November 2003) Subscriber base 800.000+
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HOW TO ASK A MAN TO DO SOMETHING
Always remember these important rules when asking
a man to do something:
1. Make sure the man is conscious.
2. Crash the hard drive on his computer and line
the bird
cage with the sports section.
3. Be brief! Limit your nagging harangue to two,
three hours,
max.
4. Reward him for cooperative behavior. Offer to
cook him
something that doesn't have a peel-back cover.
5. Punish him when he refuses to cooperate.
Microwave his
remote on high power for 55 minutes. Rotate 1/4
turn, and
microwave again for another 35 minutes.
6. Use "would you" or "will you" instead of "you'd
better" or
"do as I say and no one will get hurt."
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Science project due?
Take a deep breath of relief.
You've found your experiment!
Stop wasting time Google-ing for an idea!
Why start an experiment with hard to follow
instructions
that might not work? Avoid that long list of
expensive,
hard to find materials. Don't risk submitting
something
that won't help your child get the very best
grade.
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FAMILY FEUD ANSWERS
*Here are some actual answers from contestants who
have
appeared on the game show Family Feud (Family
Fortunes in
the UK)*
Name something a blind person might use: a sword
Name a song with moon in the title: blue suede
moon
Name a bird with a long neck: a penguin
Name an occupation where you need a torch: a
burglar
Name a famous brother and sister: Bonnie and Clyde
Name an item of clothing worn by the Three
Musketeers: a
horse
Name something that floats in the bath: water
Name something you wear on the beach: a deck chair
Name something red: my cardigan
Name a famous cowboy: Buck Rogers
Name a famous royal: mail
Name a number you have to memorize: 7
Name something you do before going to bed: sleep
Name something you put on walls: roofs
Name something in the garden that's green: a
scarecrow
Name something that flies that doesn't have an
engine:
dishes
Name something you might be allergic to: skiing
Name a famous bridge: the bridge over troubled
waters
Name something a cat does: goes to the toilet
Name a continent: Italy
Name something you do in the bathroom: decorate
Name an animal you might see at the zoo: a dog
Name something slippery: a con man
Name a kind of ache: a pancake
Name a food that can be brown or white: potato
Name a potato topping: jam
Name a famous Scotsman: Jock
Another famous Scotsman: Vinnie Jones
Name something with a hole in it: window
Name a non-living object with legs: plant
Name a domestic animal: leopard
Name a part of the body beginning with 'N': knee
Name a way of cooking fish: cod
Name something you clean: your sister
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Exceptional musical ability is not reserved for a
gifted
few. It is a skill you can learn. All you need is
a
straightforward, no nonsense guide.
The latest, state of the art, electronic
instruments
offer fabulous opportunities to produce
outstanding sound.
Like many other music lovers you have no doubt
been
thrilled by the sound created on the latest CDs or
coming
over your radio. Much of this music is created
with
electronic wizardry such as electronic keyboards
and you
can learn to play one.
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