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====> Welcome to DafterLafter
=====> Seriously Scottish Clean Jokes For The
Whole Clan
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RUSSIAN BRIDES CYBER GUIDE
Photo Catalog of Russian Women - Published weekly
-
ALL information in the catalog is less than 1
month old
SPECIAL! Subscribe today, and receive 300+
addresses FREE!
Read below for details
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INTRODUCTION:
First off congratulations to my friends (and
subscribers)
Robbie and Vicky who've finally got engaged after
living in
sin for ages. They read this using a screen-reader
called
JAWS so my decorative seperators annoy them as
does me going
meeeeeeeeecaaaagaaaaaaaazpooooooooosmmmmmmmmasdfpiojoma.
It
seems like everyone's getting married, Buffy the
daughter of
buffalo is even getting married... how that breaks
my heart.
I better start saving up for the air fare to
America so that
I can come running into the church and shout
'noooooooooo' so
then she falls into my arms and we live happily
ever after.
Lovingly,
Phil
PS We've got seperate fun pages in the lists
today... so don't
forget to check them out.
PPS I'm off to watch/endure the Eurovision Song
Contest now,
which if you've never heard of... you're probably
just as
well.
PPPS Have a great weekend.
Phil (again)
PPPPS I wasn't sure whether to put the PPPPS
before me
signing off again so I didn't but I signed off
again because
it was a while since I'd signed off the first time
so I felt
the need to sign off again... is that a sign of
madness?
PPPPPS I'm really taking the PPS now.
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QUICK JOKE
A Scotsman comes in to the room and says to his
wife, "I'm
going to the pub. Get your coat on."
His wife, overjoyed that he has included her in
his
activity, replies, "Does that mean that you are
taking me
with you, darling?"
The husband replies, "Nae - I'm turning the
heating off."
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CARTOON TIME:
Cat Safety...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200402/025.htm
When To Go To Denny's...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200402/026.htm
New Watersport...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200402/027.htm
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FUN PAGE
Questions And Answers...
http://www.ezines4all.com/fun/qa/index.htm
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A FRIENDLY DRINK
A man in the pub orders a beer. He gets his beer
and begins to drink it when he notices that the
beer is kind of warm. So he mentions something to
the bartender, who tells him to shut up and just
drink his beer.
Then it is time to pay and instead of giving three
$1 dollar bills to the bartender, the guy throws
30 dimes behind the counter.
The bartender is pissed, and is on his hands and
knees collecting change as the guy leaves.
The next day the man is back, and he comes in
waiving a $5 dollar bill.
The bartender thinks, "Okay, business is
business,"
and lets him in. Again, the beer is kind of warm,
but
the guy doesn't say anything.
Comes time to pay, the man gives him the $5 bill.
The bartender goes to the register to get the
change,
but instead of taking out two $1 dollar bills, he
takes out 20 dimes and throws them all around the
entire pub.
The bartender says, "Here is your damn change."
The man looks around and remains quite calm. He
takes
out ten dimes, throws them behind the counter and
says,
"Gimme another beer!"
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CANCEL YOUR CREDIT CARD BEFORE DYING
Motto: Be sure and cancel your credit cards before
you die.........
This is just so priceless....and so easy to see
happening, customer
service being what it is....
My Aunt died this past January. Citi Bank billed
her for February and
March for their monthly service charge on her
credit card, and then
added late fees and interest on the monthly
charge...the balance had
been $0.00... now was somewhere around $60.00
I placed the following phone call to CitiBank:
Me: "I am calling to tell you that she died in
January."
CitiBank: "The account was never closed and the
late fees
and charges still apply."
Me: "Maybe, you should turn it over to
collections..."
CitiBank: "Since it is 2 months past due, it
already has been."
Me: "So, what will they do when they find out she
is dead?"
CitiBank: "Either report her account to the frauds
division,
or report her to the credit bureau...maybe both!"
Me: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"
CitiBank: "excuse me?"
Me: "Did you just get what I was telling you....
the part
about her being dead?"
CitiBank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my
supervisor!"
(Supervisor gets on the phone)
Me: ''I'm calling to tell you, she died in
January."
CitiBank: "The account was never closed and the
late fees
and charges still apply."
Me: "You mean you want to collect from her
estate?"
CitiBank: "... (stammer)" .... "Are you her
lawyer?"
Me: "No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer info
given... )
CitiBank: "Could you fax us a certificate of
death?"
Me: "Sure." ( Fax number is given )
(After they get the fax)
CitiBank: "Our system just isn't setup for
death..."
Me: "Oh..."
CitiBank: "I don't know what more I can do to
help..."
Me: "Well... if you figure it out, great! If not,
you could just keep
billing her...I suppose...don't really think she
will care...."
CitiBank: "Well...the late fees and charges do
still apply."
Me: "'Would you like her new billing address?"
CitiBank: "That might help."
Me: "Odessa Memorial Cemetery (address and plot
number given. )
CitiBank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"
Me: "What do you do with dead people on your
planet?!"
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