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====> Welcome to DafterLafter
=====> Seriously Scottish Clean Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom
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Have you noticed your computer running slower than
ever?
The reason for that may have to do with online
advertisers
adding SpyWare or AdWare to your computer without
your
knowledge. "Spyware" is a common term for files
that are
installed on your system without your knowledge
that allow
companies to monitor your Internet activity.
"AdWare" is
software that will show you popup ads over and
over. What
they don't tell you, however, is how these files
can be
extremely dangerous to your PC and could cause
major
problems with your PC.
We are offering every computer owner, including
yourself,
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To scan your computer for free, click here:
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Our goal is to put an end to shady online
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that Internet users can enjoy the World Wide Web
without
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We urge you to run the free scan!
Click Here To Begin Scan:
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INTRODUCTION:
Not much to say today... errrrrr.... ummmmm...
enjoy the
jokes, enjoy the toons, enjoy the fun page? Please
excuse
the ads... just trying in vain to keep a roof over
my head.
Enjoy the rest of the day and don't work too
hard!!!
Phil <---Going to be sleeping on a park bench if
everyone
keeps ignoring the ads.
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QUICK JOKE
The angry wife met her husband at the door. There
was
alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his cheek.
"I
assume, " she snarled, "that there is a Damn good
reason for you to come waltzing in at six o'clock
in
the morning?"
"There is." he replied, "Where's Breakfast."
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CARTOON TIME:
Cheesy Mission...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200402/019.htm
Finger In The Eye...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200402/020.htm
Reason To Buy A Warranty...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200402/021.htm
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FUN PAGE
Space Invaders!...
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/spaceinvaders.html
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ATTENTION!!! New Virus Epidemic!
Netsky and Bagel have now infected more than a
million
computers since they were first detected, causing
losses of
more than 38,500 million dollars.
Does your computer seem to be running slower than
usual? If
you've using the Internet over the past month,
your computer
may be infected with a computer Virus that your
current
Anti-virus software may have failed to detect and
remove.
Some of this computer viruses disable many
Antivirus
programs so that they remain undetected! PAL
Emergency
Response is an Anti-virus program that works
separate from
any other program on your PC and will remove all
the latest
computer threats.
http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/emergencyr
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HOSPITAL WARD
An Englishman is being shown around a Scottish
hospital
during the Great War. At the end of his visit, he
is shown
into a ward with a number of patients who show no
obvious
signs of injury. He goes to examine the first man
he sees,
and the man proclaims: "Fair fa' yer sonsie face,
Great
chieftain e' the puddin' race! Aboon them a' ye
tak your
place, painch tripe or thairm: Weel are ye wordy
o' a grace
as lang's my arm."
The Englishman, somewhat taken aback, goes to the
next
patient. Immediately, the patient launches into:
"Some hae
meat, and cannaeat, And some wad eat that want it,
But we
hae meat and we can eat, And sae the Lord be
thankit."
This continues with the next patient: "Wee sleekit
cow'rin
tim'rousbeastie, O what a panic's in thy breastie!
Thou
need na start awa saehasty, Wi bickering brattle I
wad be
laith to run and chase thee, Wi murdering
prattle!"
"Well," the Englishman mutters to his Scottish
colleague,
"I see you saved the psychiatric ward for the
last."
"Nay, nay," the Scottish doctor corrected him,
"this is the
Serious Burns unit."
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How would you like to know how to build your own
computer
loaded with all the cool hardware your friends
always brag
about?... All for under $500? If you can screw in
a light
bulb and turn a screwdriver you can easily build
your own PC
http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/kwellman
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A MOTHERS WORST NIGHTMARE
A mother enters her daughter's bedroom & sees a
letter over
the bed.
With the worst premonition, she reads it, with
trembling
hands:
Dear Mom
It is with great regret & sorrow that I'm telling
you that
I eloped with my new boyfriend. I found real
passion & he is
so nice, with all his piercings & tattoos & his
big
motorcycle.
But it's not only that mom, I'm pregnant & Ahmed
said that
we will be very happy in his trailer in the woods.
He wants
to have many more children with me & that's one of
my
dreams.
I've learned that marijuana doesn't hurt anyone &
we'll be
growing it for us & his friends, who are providing
us with
all the cocaine & ecstasies we may want.
In the meantime, we'll pray for the science to
find the
AIDS cure, for Ahmed to get better, he deserves
it.
Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now & I know how
to take
care of myself. Some day I'll visit for you to
know your
grandchildren.
Your daughter, Judith
PS: Mom, it's not true. I'm at the neighbour's
house. I just
wanted to show you that there are worse things in
life than
the school's report card that's in my desk
drawer...
I love you!
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Double The Speed Of Your PC
Discover some of the most amazing secrets to speed
up and
optimize your PC that you will ever learn, you can
do
everything in this report without spending a
single cent on
hardware and I will show you exactly how in these
two main
categories:
1) Hardware Optimization - e.g. CPU, modem, hard
disk, CD
drive, memory etc...
(2) Software Optimization - e.g. Internet
Explorer, Outlook,
Media Player, Office 2000 etc...
http://hop.clickbank.net/?LABLaughs/sanderson
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