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====> Welcome to DafterLafter
=====> Seriously Scottish Clean Jokes For The
Whole Clan
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INTRODUCTION:
When playing todays fun page 'Pong' I got beaten
21-14 by
the computer so I guess that's not really fair.
But the
thing is the computer keeps score... and that's
not fair...
plus it knows where I'm going to move too... so
that's not
fair. I think I'm just a sore loser... and also
I'm useless
at pong. What kind of a name is 'pong' for
something which
is like tennis... or is it just that the game
stinks?
Today I taught a group of friends how to make
sausage rolls
from scratch and also how to make crunch desert...
they were
both lovely. Actually crunch desert was even
tastier than I
remembered. For those of you who don't know you
smash up
some plain chocolate digestive biscuits and melt
some butter
and syrup and mix it all together for the base.
Then you add
some angel delight (choose your own flavour) and
then if you
like some fruit on top. My favourite bit has to be
the base!
mmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Yours droolingly,
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
Sign seen in repair shop:
Hourly rate: $10.50
Hourly rate if you sit and watch: $12.50
Hourly rate if you sit, watch, and comment: $15.50
Hourly rate if you sit, watch, comment, and
"help": $20.00
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CARTOON TIME:
Racing Duck...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200402/013.htm
Ice Cream Cone Factory...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200402/014.htm
Personal Effects...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200402/015.htm
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FUN PAGE
Pong...
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/pong.html
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CHRISTMAS CAROLS
The Teacher, Ms. Jones, was very curious about how
each of
her students celebrated Christmas.
She called on young Patrick Murphy. "Tell me,
Patrick, what
do you do at Christmas time?" she asked.
Patrick addressed the class, "Well, Ms. Jones, me
and my
twelve brothers and sisters go to the midnight
Mass and we
sing hymns, then we come home very late and we put
mince
pies by the back door and hang up our stockings.
Then all
excited we go to bed and wait for Father Christmas
to come
with all our toys."
"Very nice, Patrick," she said. "Now, Jimmy Brown,
what do
you do at Christmas?" Ms. Jones asked.
"Well, Ms. Jones, me and my sister also go to
church with
Mum and Dad and we sing carols and we get home
ever so
late. We put cookies and milk by the chimney and
we hang
up our stockings. We hardly sleep waiting for
Santa Claus
to bring our presents, " Jimmy replied.
"That's also very nice, Jimmy," she said.
Realizing that
there was a Jewish boy in the class and not
wanting to
leave him out of the discussion, she asked Isaac
Cohen the
same question. "Now, Isaac Cohen, what do you do
at
Christmas?" she asked.
"Well, we also sing carols!" Isaac responded.
Surprised, Mrs. Jones questioned further. "Tell us
what
you sing," Ms. Jones requested.
"Well, it's the same thing every year. Dad comes
home from
the office. We all pile into the Rolls Royce, then
we drive
to his toy factory. When we get inside, we look at
all the
empty shelves and begin to sing, "What a Friend We
Have In
Jesus." Then we all go to the Bahamas."
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WHO NEEDS A MAN?
If you want someone who will do anything to please
you,
get a dog.
If you want someone who will bring you the
newspaper without
tearing through it first for the sports page, get
a dog.
If you want someone who'll make a total fool of
himself
because he's so glad to see you, get a dog.
If you want someone who eats whatever you put in
front of
him and never says his mother made it better, get
a dog.
If you want someone who's always eager to go out
any time
you ask and anywhere you want to go, get a dog.
If you want someone who can scare away burglars
without
waving a lethal weapon around, endangering you and
all the
neighbors, get a dog.
If you want someone who never touches the remote,
couldn't
care less about Monday Night Football, and watches
dramatic movies with you as long as you want, get
a dog.
If you want someone who'll be content just to
snuggle up
and keep you warm in bed, and who you can kick out
of bed
if he slobbers and snores, get a dog.
If you want someone who never criticizes anything
you do,
doesn't care how good or bad you look, acts as
though
every word you say is worth hearing, never
complains, and
loves you unconditionally all the time, get a dog!
On the other hand...
If you want someone who never comes when you call
him,
totally ignores you when you walk in the room,
leaves hair
all over the place, walks all over you, prowls
around all
night and come home only to eat and sleep all day,
and
acts as though you are there only to see that HE's
happy...
Get a CAT!
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