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====> Welcome to DafterLafter
=====> Seriously Scottish Clean Jokes For The
Whole Clan
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INTRODUCTION:
A short one today... I hope you're all having a
great day.
We've got a busy weekend ahead of us with church.
We're
going to a huge event for 18 to 40's... a kind of
Billy
Graham type thing with great speakers and seminars
on
different christian issues. Then Sunday morning
and night
at church plus invited out for lunch in between.
For me... a great weekend. For you guys... nothing
on
Saturday and I'll do my best to manage something
on Sunday.
Whether you receive something from me or not...
have a
GREAT weekend. If the weather's nice go somewhere
nice and
have a fun day out... you only live once. If it's
raining,
be greatful because some people don't get any so
go out and
play in it... if you're dragged off to the
loonatic asylym
then you can blame me.
Right... got to send this out... so much for the
short
intro!
Phil
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QUICK JOKE
I noticed my husband standing on the bathroom
scale, sucking
in his ample stomach.
Thinking he was trying to weigh less with this
maneuver, I
quipped, "I don't think that is going to help
much, hon."
"Sure it does," he said.
"How else can I see the numbers?"
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CARTOON TIME:
Cat Scan...
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Coke Head...
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First Floor Entry...
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FUN PAGE
Pac-Man!...
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WALKING ON WATER
A Scotsman, planning a trip to the Holy Land, was
aghast when he found it would cost fifty dollars
an
hour to rent a boat on the Sea of Galilee.
"Hoot mon," he said, "in Scotland it wouldna ha'
been
more than $20."
"That might be true," said the travel agent, "but
you
have to take into account that the Sea of Galilee
is
water on which our Lord himself walked."
"Well, at $50 an hour for a boat," said the
Scotsman,
"it's no wonder he walked!"
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IT'S TIME TO DIET AND EXERCISE WHEN...
...you try to do a few pushups and discover that
certain body parts
refuse to leave the floor.
...your children look through your wedding album
and want to know who
Daddy's first wife was.
...you get winded just saying the words
"six-kilometer run."
...you come to the conclusion that, if God really
wanted you to touch
your toes each morning, He would have put them
somewhere around your
knees.
...you analyze your body honestly and decide what
you should develop
first is your sense of humor.
...you step on a talking scale and it says, "Come
back when you're
alone."
...to you, "Itsy-Bitsy Teenie-Weenie Yellow Polka
dot Bikini" and "The
Impossible Dream" become the same song.
...you accept the fact that you can fool some of
the people all of the
time and all of the people some of the time, but
not while you're
wearing a bathing suit.
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