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====> Welcome to DafterLafter
=====> Seriously Scottish Clean Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom
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Your child can read to read with ease!
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Each Level Contains:
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INTRODUCTION:
Hello everyone!
If this email is a surprise to you because you
haven't
received mail from us in a while that is because
we've now
moved to a new list host that can actually deliver
mail!
I'm very excited about it and I hope you are too.
If you've
gone without these emails so long that you think
you can
live without them then please follow the
unsubscribe
instructions at the bottom but that would make me
very sad!
If you can't remember what we're all about then
please
visit the home page at http://www.ezines4all.com
where you
can view some recent issues and all the fun pages
you've
been missing.
For those that have been here the whole time and
for all the
rest of you... have a great day!!!
Phil (mailto:mrx@ezines4all.com)
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QUICK JOKE
Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love get
married. The
ceremony was rubbish but the reception was
brilliant.
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CARTOON TIME:
Alcohol Research Fraud...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200402/004.htm
Mouse Cake...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200402/005.htm
Australian Whine...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200402/006.htm
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FUN PAGE
Frogger...
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/frogger.html
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This Mother's Day...
Give your Mom the gift of FREE flowers!
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=> Instructions
=> And Much More!
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MLM FAQ
The Total Idiot's Guide to Internet Success!
Let's begin:
Q: How long will it take me to get insanely rich?
A: Depends on you. Probably two weeks. Some people
take as long as a
month.
Q: Does it take hard work or long hours to get
insanely rich?
A: No. This is the Internet.
Q: Can just anybody get insanely rich?
A: Yes. This is the Internet.
Q: How do I proceed?
A: As you're surfing around the net you'll see
banners and links that
say things like "Make Fourteen Million Dollars in
Ninety Days, Click
Here to See How!" Simply click the link to get
started.
Q: It won't really take ninety days though, will
it?
A: Of course not. They just say that so you'll be
pleasantly surprised
and so it doesn't sound like hype.
Q: Okay, I've found one that says "Retire to Your
Own Caribbean Isle in
One Month!" Is that good?
A: Perfect.
Q: What does MLM mean?
A: Nobody really knows. Morons Lose Money has been
snidely suggested by
the little-brains.
Q: I signed up and now I sell low phone rates.
They say it's the easiest
thing to sell because everyone uses a phone. And
since it's MLM, by the
time my third level is operating I'll be making
$345,915.45 per week.
A: Conservatively.
Q: They say the first step is to get my mother
into the program. Why is
my sponsor happy that Mom has Alzheimers?
A: Your sponsor is a shrewd business person.
People with any sort of
memory disorder make the best targ... uh, clients.
You can switch your
mother's long distance carrier for her, and then
start calling the other
members of her support group.
Q: That sounds a little fishy.
A: The ends justify the means. You are offering
people substantial
savings on long distance. It's for their own good.
Q: How else can I get new business?
A: Spam. Spam. Spam.
Q: I thought spam was bad.
A: No, spam is good. Anyone who says it's bad is
just jealous because
their brains are too small.
Q: But won't I lose my web host and ISP?
A: In the get-rich-quick business, it's important
to cultivate a
zen-like non-attachment to service providers.
Q: What else can I do to promote my new business?
A: Here's a list of suggestions:
--Sign up with a free website provider and fill
your site with zany
colors and flashy banners. --Join every free
banner exchange. --Get your
own free-for-all links page. --Join every opt-in
email list with the
word Money, Rich or Lackwit in the title. --Buy
software that submits
your site URL to the 15,000 most important search
engines. --Buy
software that submits your ad to the 50,000
most-read free classified
sites. --Hire a bulk emailer. --Sponsor a golf
tournament.
Q: Okay, I've done all that and I'm still not
rich. I haven't even
driven my hit counter to its knees yet. What am I
doing wrong?
A: It's possible that you're not very bright.
Consult one of your
friends who has retired on their Internet
earnings.
Q: What if I don't have any friends who have
retired on their Internet
earnings?
A: Then contact someone on the Internet who has
retired on their
Internet earnings.
Q: What if I've never heard of anyone retiring
from their Internet
earnings?
A: Well, then maybe you can be the first.
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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
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CHANGE OF PLAN
A couple was relating their vacation experiences
to a
friend. "It sounds as if you had a great time in
Texas,"
the friend observed. "But didn't you tell me you
were
planning to visit Colorado?"
"Well," the husband said, "we changed our plans
because, uh..."
His wife cut in, "Oh, tell the truth, Fred!" He
fell silent
and she continued, "You know, it's just
ridiculous. Fred
simply will not ask for directions."
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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR'
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