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====> Welcome to DafterLafter
=====> Seriously Scottish Clean Jokes For The
Whole Clan
======> Owned by http://www.GreatWorldMedia.com
=======> Unsubscribe Instructions at the bottom
========> Useful Links also at the bottom
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INTRODUCTION:
Many of you didn't receive Mondays 'comeback'
issue where I
wrote my reasons for such a long absense... and it
was a
'not to be missed' intro because it filled those
that read
it in on a lot.
I also noticeed that I got some of the toons links
wrong
(Hey... I'm out of practise). So I got to thinking
the best
way to sort the problem and let everyone see it
was post it
on the website rather than writing the intro again
and
posting the toons again.
Mondays issue can be found online at:
http://www.ezines4all.com/dl200404/05.htm
That got me to thinking maybe I should post them
everyday
incase someone misses an issue or for some reason
the isps
decide not to deliver them, or to convert non
subscribers...
or just because people enjoy them so much they
might want to
go back and read them again and again.
I'd appreciate any feedback on the subject because
what you,
my friends, thinks matters to me.
Phil (mailto:mrx@ezines4all.com)
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QUICK JOKE
Weary of constantly picking clothes up from the
floor of her
son's room, a mother finally laid down the law:
each item of
clothing she had to pick up would cost her son 25
cents.
The plan backfired a bit. By the end of the week,
he owed her
$1.50. She received the money promptly, along with
a 50 cent
tip and a note that read, "Thanks Mom; keep up the
good work."
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CARTOON TIME:
Why Aren't You Working?...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200310/004.htm
Time To Leave...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200310/005.htm
Irish First Aid Course...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200310/006.htm
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FUN PAGE
Errr, hit a guy as far as you can with a Baseball
Bat?...
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/military/snow.htm
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COLD WINTER
It was October and the Indians on a remote
reservation asked their new
Chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or
mild.
Since he was a Chief in a modern society he had
never been taught the old
secrets.
When he looked at the sky he couldn't tell what
the winter was going to
be like.
Nevertheless, to be on the safe side he told his
tribe that the winter
was indeed going to be cold and that the members
of the village should
collect firewood to be prepared.
But being a practical leader, after several days
he got an idea. He went
to the phone booth, called the National Weather
Service and asked, "Is
the coming winter going to be cold?"
"It looks like this winter is going to be quite
cold," the meteorologist
at the weather service responded.
So the Chief went back to his people and told them
to collect even more
firewood in order to be prepared.
A week later he called the National Weather
Service again. "Does it
still look like it is going to be a very cold
winter?"
"Yes," the man at National Weather Service again
replied, "it's going to
be a very cold winter."
The Chief again went back to his people and
ordered them to collect
every scrap of firewood they could find.
Two weeks later the Chief called the National
Weather Service again.
"Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going
to be very cold?"
"Absolutely," the man replied. "It's looking more
and more like it is
going to be one of the coldest winters ever."
"How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked.
The weatherman replied, "The Indians are
collecting firewood like
crazy!"
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THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE
Reasons why the English language is so hard to
learn:
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more
refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in
the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he
thought it
was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass
drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to
row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are
present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a
sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his
sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got
number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a
tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of
tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate
friend?
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